Dead On Valentines Day
"He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of
dispute." -Friedrich Nietzsche>
(14 February 2018, Berlin Germany) A 19-year-old demonstrated spectacular
FAIL at keeping romance alive. He and his soon-to-be-ex were quarreling as
they walked along the beautiful Havel River. The frustrated man suddenly
shoved the woman into the icy river, jumping in to push her under again and
But she could swim. He could not...
She swam safely to land and quickly recovered from hypothermia. He sank and
lost consciousness in the 2°C waters, forever forgetting the quarrel,
and was pulled out by water police and transported to Charité Virchow
Clinic in Berlin. The attacker fell into
coma, while an arrest warrant was issued against him for attempted murder
with malice aforethought.
The crime was committed on December 19th, and the perpetrator died on
February 14th--an ironic date indeed--from irreversible brain damage.
Usually no Darwin Award is granted when an innocent bystander is
injured. In this case we make a rare exception, because the woman fully
recovered (and is perforce better off without this madman) while the
diabolical and drowned deed-doer was Darwinian-dumb.
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Submitted by: LM Holmes and Jürgen Kahl