Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of    the human genome by honoring those who    accidentally remove themselves from it...

Nearly 400 Darwin Awards are linked below. You might want to simply hit the "random" button on each page (top right) or start with these Classic Darwin Awards: Wrong Time, Wrong Place,Ski Theft Backfires, Macho Men, Midnight Special, ESCAPING CONVICTION, Peeper Plummets, Wife Tossing Note: the JATO Rocket Car is an Urban Legend, and Lawnchair Larry is an Honorable Mention To read the stories in order, BEGIN HERE, and click "next". 2010 Textbook Double Double Darwin Award The Burdens Of Our Fathers Glacier Erasure Barrel Ride, With Flames! Teeming With Crocodiles Carbideschieten Tiny Elec Fence 2009 Mock Death Muffled Explosion Dying To Go Sparkleberry Lane Crushing Debt Tennessee Pee A Shoe-In Winner Race To The Bottooommm Painkiller Doublemint Dumb Double Dip She Talks Faster Than She Walks Saw It Coming! Dynamite Rancher Poor Decision On A Major Scale Wetting the Bed Missed (But Not Missed By) The Bus Epitaph, She Liked Feathers Fool's Gold Bricks in the Head Double Parking Nutty Putty Cave 2008 Priest Visits Boss A One Track Mind Rub the Mint Story Pining Away Merry Pranksters An Illuminating Story Wascally Wabbit Boner! Chemistry Went To Her Head Thou Shalt Not Steel Not a Shred of Sense Early Retirement Plan Pierced! On the Piste Clotheslined! Not Fast Enough Food Going to Seed Pillar Of Strength Slippery When Wet A Screw Loose Low Flying Drunks Into the Abyss Wheel Of Fortune Shopping Cart Crash Organ Donors Killer Fuel Economy 2007 Crutch, Meet Crotch The Enema Within Pushmi-Pullyu Falling in Love Weight Lift A Cow-ardly Death Beer for Bears Support Group Stop. Look. Listen. Whac-A-Mole A Prop-er Sendoff Oil Tank Trampoline Elephants Press Back Ditched The Alchemist Barn Razing Electronic Fireworks Timing is Everything Descent of Man Sky Surfer The Laptop Still Works! Fatal a-Traction Four Great Ideas Breathless Fatal Foaming Action 2006 Modern Armor Sudden Stop Hammer of Doom Stubbed Out A Slow Burn Score One For Goliath High on Life Faithful Flotation Copper Kite String Rolling Stones Rock Out Crushing De"feet" Footloose in the Footwell 2005 Kittie Toy Chimney-Cleaning Grenade Freeway Dangler Elephant Tail Failed Frame-Up "Plug Me In" Surprise Attack Surprise Wales Wins What I Can Still Do Mining for Elephants Rocketing to Glory The Nuisance of Seatbelts Tide Waits For No Man Off-Road Driving Death Valley Daze All Wound Up Heck on Wheels 2004 Rutting Contest Spy vs. Self Man Drowns in Kitchen Sink 4-1-0 Club Do-It-Yourself Landmine Speed Demon Watch Out for That Tree! Hold That Bus! Right Over the Dam "Who Wants Summa This?" Bannister to Heaven Terminal Creativity Aim to Win Tree vs. Man Cold Call Chicken to Go The Army's a Blast Homemade Wine Damned if You Do... Dope on a Rope Flying Dutchman Tunnel Vision Lava Lamp Snake Man Daring Feet Amateur Bomb Inspector Closer Look at Victoria Falls 2003 Unsafe and Insane Ultimate Quest for Airtime Workin' at the Car Wash Dying for a Ciggie Love Struck Slaughterhouse Robbery Second Time's the Charm Jack Up ZAP! Hurricane Blumpkin Pancake Thief A Honey of a Buzz Killer Shades Exploding Ex-tortionist Sharp Landing Tree Hard, Head Empty Master Welder Shooting Blanks Asphalt Tattoo Self-Demolition Derby 2002 Shoot 'em Off Faulty Aim Fatal Firecracker Chainsaw Massacre What's That Sound? Tied Off Human Torch Wounded Wire Bites Back Bees 1, Humans 0 Wrong and Wronger Border Crossing Slip Sliding Away Chainsaw Insurance Return to Trees Fails The Worm Has Turned Sneakers Caveat Emptor Rocket Tester Saw a Grenade Truck Stop Romanian Trains Jet Taxi Losing Face Booby Traps Trap Boob Well-Trained I Can't Swim! Daredevil Fir Tree Trimmer Blowhole A Rocky Roll Mechanic Mayhem Depth of a Fisherman 2001 BulletProof The Unkindest Cut Crystal Daze Blown Away Fifteen Minutes of Flame Rubbish! Think Before You Leap Killing Time Intersecting Darwins Library Return Pig Jig Snowmoboater Sweet Release Snowball's Chance in Hell Ants' Revenge Roadkill Coke Is It! Thirst for Death Dodging Drink Dues Path of Least Resistance Fishing With No Compass God Saves? Jet Ski Spree Scooter Snuff Grenade Juggler Ethanol Schmethanol Slow Learner Sheep Sleep Precarious Perch Bass Ackwards Skeleton Key Enraged Elephant 2000 Shorties-Stupid Human Tricks Gun Safety Training Jumping Jack Cash The Daily Grind Fireworks Fiasco Niagara Falls Home Grown Chute Come On In! Human Popsicle Stab in the Dark Fast Food Fatality Forklift Safety Video Sand Surfing Shocking Fall Crappy Driving Award Do It Yourself, Do Yourself In Father Knows Best Testing Faith What's That Ringing? William Tell Overture Chute Boy Human Hitching Post Out With a Bang! Ostrich Safety Rappin' on Heaven's Door Settle the Score Short & Sweet Circular Reasoning Two Avalanche Alaskan 3 Clowns on Scooter Fantastic Plastic Lover Baby Drives Me Crazy Elevator Wedgie Hornet Challenge High on Grass Running of the Bulls Hardheads Stoned Sleep Polar Bear Swim Can Duck Shooters Swim? Kiss of Death Duct Tape Perilous Pose Tired of it All A Fell Death Throwing Stones Moscow Marauder Concrete Cylinder Roll Power Punch Proves Fatal 1999 Love Crushed Sex Living on Zionist Time Fatal Footsie Gone Fishin' Hurricane News Junkie Darwin Awards Shorts Copper Caper Up In Smoke Dead Spitter Sink the Cue Ball Burmese Python The Bumbershoot Smarter Animals Firefighters Ignite! Winner Gets a Post Mortem Go Speed Racer Go Flames of Passion Roller-Coaster Peeper Plummets Intelligence Blunders Walking on Water Shell Shot Dum Dum Boutique Snake Charmer? Lights Out Laughing Gas What's New Pussycat? Maine Chainsaw Romance Yosemite Hiker Rob Your Neighbor Resistance is Futile Breatharianism Good Trumps Evil at Church Wet Will He Power of Satan? Sex and Suffocation Mental Eclipse Liposuction Tragedy Hard Work Rewards Wild Animal Lesson Stay With the Herd! Ur-inate-iot Yosemite Parachute Safety Fatal Footwear Fashion Wiped Out Killer Whale Rodeo That Sinking Feeling Avoiding a Fight Show Off Sleepfalling Poisonous Pets Sauna Kills Monk Silenced by the Lambs Paragliding vs. Parasailing 1998 Ski Theft Backfires Hanging Around Jail Guy Gulps Goldfish Modus Operandi Misfires Halloween Pumpkin Award Don't Drink and Fly Dynamite and Boats Don't Mix Sequined Pastie Passionate Plunge Dive to Death Igniting Fireworks the Easy Way Wife Tossing in Buenos Aires Never Too Old for a Darwin Award Basketball Player Takes a Dunking Don't Chute the Messenger 1997 Out of their Heads Bungee Jumper I'm A Man, I Can Handle It No Bike Lane at the Airport Escaping Conviction Privacy on the Beach Man Slices Off Penis Poor Driving Runs in the Family Fatal Flasher Clumsy Canadian Burglar Tunnels of Doom 1996 Macho Men? Lawyer Aloft Cigarette Lighter Triggers Fatal Explosion Playing with Cats Hungry Python Kills Owner Speed Shunting Set the Parking Brake, Stupid! One For the Birds 1995 JATO Rocket Car Caught in the Auger Count Your Chickens Repairs on the Road Whitewater Floaters Electrifying Stunt FishMan Older Sizzling Scaffolding Where's the Shoot? Where's the Chute? Auto Blotto Convince the Jury Historical Darwins Mortal Insult Tired Ammo Bottom of the Barrel Absolutely Radiant Risky Reenactment Conquering the Arch Cactus Crunch Train of Thought Catapult to Glory Short Circuit A Breathtaking View Mile-High Club Failure Kung Fu Lion Military Intelligence Antlers Ahoy! "Hazard Befell Him" Guitars 'n' Guns Dry Spell Junk Food Junkie Electric Bathtub Blues Freefall Physics Lesson Samurai Astronomer Gunpowder-Guy Fawkes Wrong Time, Wrong Place Priapism Takes a Penis In A Pig's Eye Midnight Special Pancake Pantry Thief Fish Gag Hurricane Hangover Deadly Reading Habits Murderous Affair Death of Dracula

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