September 24, 2014
The Evolution Revolution
Homo sapiens sapiens
The Darwin Awards:
in search of smart.
(17 September 2014, Pakistan) Two correspondents nominated the gullible
acolyte who volunteered to be killed and resurrected by a holy man--and not
a holy man who was experienced with the procedure, but a beginner who
thought he'd give it a whirl! ("Religion did him in.)
(23 September 2014, India) Life of Pi, move over, Maqsood has a tale
to tell. This 19-year-old factory worker joined a White tiger for lunch
yesterday in the cat's Delhi zoo home. After being cautioned twice to not
climb over the fence enclosing the tiger enclosure, Maqsood climbed over
the fence a third time and then swam across the moat over to Tiger
Island. ("India zoo gains a meal, loses a patron...")
(25 May 2014, Georgia) 18-year-old Chance Werner had recently graduated
from high school and on the early hours of Sunday morning he was at Lake
Allatoona celebrating with friends by playing the Shopping Cart Game. The
Shopping Cart Game is evidently popular...
(May 2014, England) In the interest of public safety, the Darwin Awards
editors are releasing this ribald and unsavory event to the public to serve
as a warning to adventurous amorous males. EYEWITNESS: "Being part of the
emergency services, firemen were called to the A&E Department of a central
London hospital to assist in removing a thing ring... (more)
(2 March 2014, Rotterdam, Netherlands) Two apparently intoxicated men dared
each other to test their courage against an intercity train at a Rotterdam
train station. At 1800 hours on a Sunday night, the station was crowded
with more than 300 fans returning from a soccer-match pitting Feyenoord
against Ajax at De Kuip, the most beautiful soccer stadium in
NO DARWIN AWARD: "No Bull, No Bullets!"
3 August 2014, Chicago | NOT a Darwin Award winner: the accidental shooting
death of a man who failed to prove that his gun had no bullets, when he
pointed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger. Moderators have ruled
this recent Illinois shooting death "too common" and lacking the creativity
of a true Darwin Award. Sorry, Mr. Zyzanski (rawstory.com)
17 July 2014, Poland | In a small town in Poland tragedy struck as seven
people accidentally drowned in a cesspool, one after another. The first
death was that of a tractor driver whose job was to empty the septic tank;
he succumbed to highly toxic hydrogen sulfide fumes and lost consciousness,
falling into the pool. Following him were six "rescuers"... (polskieradio.pl)
(30 April 2014) Found-on-the-Internet photo in honor of the deadly "selfie"
photo. On May 1 two men in Kenya were capturing selfies with a wild
elephant when they were trampled to death by the irate pachyderm who
proceeded to bury the corpses with brush. The two men were actually
touching the elephant's face while taking the photos. Charles Darwin
cautions, "When taking sensational selfies, remember the Photoshop option."
(30 April 2014) Honorable Mention. Alive without a brain? Six days before
his scheduled release, a convict broke out of a Portland jail and enjoyed
twelve hours of freedom before being apprehended at a nearby Jack in the
Box. The math genius had served 97% of his sentence.
Out of the Box, back into the Box, a classic Jack in the Box.
Back In Black! Slack Attack Ends!
Hi! I'm Wendy, Curator of the Darwin Awards and, of late, a major slacker.
The updates have been spotty to nonexistent and there are cobwebs and
spiders lurking all over this website. While I'm getting the news up to
date, please enjoy a browse in our Slush Pile.
The Slush Pile is moderated by volunteers, and the fans and I owe them a
round of drinks and fresh popcorn. Check out the Slush Pile archives, the
fountain from which the Darwin Awards are fished.
Thanks for waiting--Wendy is back!
Human Intelligence is MIA,
Evolve! Urges the ghost of Charles Darwin.
Darwin Awards: Extinction of Species.
"Clap, clap, clap."
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Motorized Bar Stool
A Drilliant Idea