A Chronicle of Enterprising Demises
Honoring those who improve the species...by
accidentally removing themselves from it!

Last month was all about Women Winning Darwin Awards.
This month it's time for men and their antics. From 'military intelligence' to get-rich-quick schemes, from dust devils to lions, men know how to exit the stage with style.

	Race To The Bottooommm (darwin award) Jake reached the summit of Saddle Mountain on Saturday afternoon, and then and there he informed his friends that he had planned a controlled slide down the cliff face. He would meet up with them in the parking lot... Read on.
	Sparkleberry Lane / Paint it Black (darwin award) Two disguised men entered the Sprint store on Sparkleberry Lane, pulled out guns, and stole wallets, purses, and credit cards before fleeing... Read on.
	Crushing Debt (darwin award) Double Darwin! Two bankrobbers attempting to make a sizeable withdrawal from an ATM machine died when they overestimated the quantity of dynamite needed for the explosion... Read on.
	Look Before You Leak (darwin award) Traffic was moving slowly on southbound I-95. Shawn had left a Pompano Beach bar with three friends, and now all four were stuck in traffic. You don't buy beer, you just rent it, and Shawn couldn't wait... Read on.
	Poor Decision On A Major Scale (darwin award) I was a young Private in the 82nd Airborne Division. My Brigade was on its periodic training junket to Ft. Polk. One of the many items stressed at briefings before a training mission of this proportion was... Read on.
Stupid Product Sighting. Found in Fry's Electronics, the CarTable now lets you drive with your desk attached to your steering wheel. Just when you thought it was safe to venture onto the freeway, this innovative product puts alll other drivers on the defensive. A great gift idea for Employee Appreciation Day!
	An Unfun Whirlwind (near miss) Ten years ago I was roofing vacant homes in Sun Valley, Nevada. It was the sweetest commute imaginable. I'd wake up, make breakfast, climb a ladder, and BAM! I was at work. Two things Sun Valley has: sand and dirt... Read on.
	Mr. Tinker (near miss) Rob says, 'My father-in-law tinkers and most often fixes things. I have seen him take apart toasters, motors, electronics, and power washers. He often has several projects on the go. One day he came home with... Read on.
	My Father, the PhD (near miss) This is the World's Best Honorable Mention. Let an amused daughter tell you about her sire. 'This weekend was the final straw. Being an extremely cost-conscious person, Dad decided... Read on.
	A Clear Lesson (near miss) I was catching up with a friend over dinner when she recieved a phone call from her college roommate. When the roommate was younger she accidentally ran right through a sliding glass door... Read on.
	The Mane Attraction (near miss) One day a young man living in Wroclaw received a letter in a large envelope. One look and he knew it was THAT letter. In Poland, when a man turns 18 he must allow the medical commission to determine whether he is fit to serve... Read on.
Military men tell the best stories! The accounts are generally unconfirmed, but I tend to trust the men. Why fib with so many weird experiences with heavy machinery to draw upon? Below are recent contributions:
Cooo New Quotes! "Just think how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider!" --George Carlin
There is occasional dissatisfaction with the Darwin Awards Rules age limit, normally set at 16. Says moonflake, "It's a pity. This ex-idiot is a perfect candidate, but was only 15: 'The group of boys said they were train surfing in memory of three friends who died doing the same thing last Friday. One boy fell off the train and died on the scene.' I have no words." What do you think, should this fifteen-year-old win a Darwin Award?

Literary Reference

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." -Peter Ustinov

Don't miss our mottos!
"Chlorinating the Gene Pool"
"Where Evolution Hits the Pavement"
"Die and Learn"
"The Tree of Life is Self-Pruning"
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