1999 Darwin Awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Lights Out  1999 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (13 August 1999, California) On Friday the 13th, Scott and his sister Kimberly had an electrifying experience while attempting to view the annual Perseid meteor shower. Scott, an aspiring young astronomer, set up his telescope for a closer view of the sky. Alas, poor Scott did not reflect on the merits of using a telescope for watching the Perseids.A telescope is really a hindrance. The wide field of vision of a naked eye will catch far more shooting stars than a telescope, particularly if that eye is taken away from from city lights into the desert or mountains. Having already proven to be a poor astronomer, Scott proceeded to show that he was not much of an electrician, either. Bothered by the glare of a nearby streetlight, he broke into the base of the light pole and attempted to sever the 4000-volt power cord. He was pronounced dead at Hoag Memorial Hospital shortly after his spectacularly aborted skywatching attempt. At 1AM on Friday, Scott used pliers to pry open an inspection plate at the base of the streetlight, then sawed into the 2-centimeter wire. Kimberly saw a flash knock him onto his back. Scott had the technical know-how to construct a computer from scratch or wire a burglar alarm. "He was trying to solve a problem and not using his head, and he made a mistake," grieved the dead man's father. "He didn't realize the power." A spokesman for Southern California Edison said, "This is another example of why you shouldn't tamper with electricity if you don't know what you're doing." A friend of Scott's remarked, "Scott had a itch for doing things with his hands. He has done many dangerous things. This time he made a fatal mistake." Another friend said, "Don't confuse bravery with stupidity." There are no shooting stars for Scott this Friday the 13th, but he does have a shot at winning a Darwin Award. Lights Out Addition For more information, read Scott's last IRC chat, submitted by many of his friends. DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2004 Submitted by: John Elder, David Morenus, Tom Shelton, C. Peter Constantinidis, Sean Green, Kenneth Jang Reference: Fresno Bee, Scott Martelle of the Los Angeles Times, CBS News, Rachanee Srisavasdi of the Orange County Register, www.channel2000.com, The Press-Telegram, Yahoo! News Previous Next The Darwin Awards Gift Shop The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed. $15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author!   Advanced Search HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend