(18 February 2017, Zimbabwe) Three male humans, three male elephants, and a
dream of a perfect wildlife selfie combine to win to the first 2017 Darwin
Award! In the town of Plumtree in southwestern Zimbabwe, Mr. Moses Ndlovu
spotted three elephants in the bush. "Shrubbery! This will not do," he
thought, and he and two friends began to drive the three male elephants
into a clearing. The elephants cooperated, in a fashion.
A large bull elephant and two younger males came charging out of the
shrubbery and headed for the provoking men! It was time to test the old
truism, "I don't have to outrun that elephant, I just have to outrun
you" The men took off running, each frantic to save his own hide.
Moses, lagging behind, was trampled to death by the angry bull while his
The entire blunder was a pointless waste of time for man and beast. I am
sorry you are dead, Moses Ndlovu, but what were you thinking? As a
consolation, your lamentable death serves as a warning to others:
IRONY FLASH. AndyM and DebRS pointed out that the surname Ndolvu, common in subtribes in
Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Malawi, means 'elephant' in the Xhosa language. in Zulu 'indlovu'
means 'white elephant.
Pat Rick: "Dumbo Trampled Dumbo"
Wendy: "Brings new meaning to 'The Human Race.'"
YogiP: "Beast Mode on."
Dwayne: "Wait! This cannot be! Mr. Moses Ndlovu just sent me an email
promising to send 5,000,000 if I help..."
JoeV: "He forgot to type in IDDQD and IDKFA." (A cheat code used in
Doom to enable god mode.)
AllenG: "UnbelivaBULL! It was undeniaBULL what the outcome was going
to be, it's laughaBULL!"
CarlaS: "He probably ran up on them in 'must'. As I've been told the
only time bull elephants congregate is when they are in competition,
otherwise they are solitary."
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Submitted by: David Cohen