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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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The 24-year-old second lieutenant, in charge of this detachment, decided this would be a good time to demonstrate a knife attack on a soldier. Wielding his bayonet, he leaped toward one of his men, achieving complete surprise. But earlier that week, the soldiers had been drilled to release the safety catch and ready their guns for firing in the shortest possible time. The surprised soldier, seeing his lieutenant leaping toward him with a knife, snapped off a shot to protect himself from the attack. The lesson could not have been more successful: the soldier had saved himself and protected the rest of the detachment from a surprise attack. The lieutenant might have wished to commend his soldier on his quick action and accurate marksmanship. Unfortunately, he had been killed with one shot. And this, kiddies, is why we don't play with knives or guns. Ever. Even if we are trained professionals, and especially if our target is a trained professional.
Reader Comments:
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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Reader Andy says, "It's bogus I tell you. I was a US Army Ranger weapon specialist, in combat in Panama, Iraq, and Kosovo, and spent many days on various ranges. In Europe, we all used the same ranges with the same rules. They are set up as a sort of assembly line, a row of concrete holes with the range spread out in front. After cease fire has been called, the troops are ordered step by step out of the holes, into a line, where they file past a Sergeant who checks them for ammo. If the story is true, it was premeditated murder. You can't accidentally get off the range with a round locked and loaded. Even in combat, they don't let you just carry ammo all willy-nilly. If memory serves, Blick is a reliable publication, but I still don't see how it could happen. What the LT should be criticized for isn't the stupid bayonet attack, but for allowing one of his troops to leave the firing line with a 'hot' weapon."
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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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