The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2004 Darwins
Rutting Contest
Man Drowns in Kitchen Sink
Spy vs. Self
Do-It-Yourself Landmine
4-1-0 Club
Stepping Out
Watch Out for That Tree!
Bannister to Heaven
Aim to Win
Hold That Bus!
"Who Wants Summa This?"
Right Over the Dam
Terminal Creativity
Tree vs. Man
Chicken to Go
Cold Call
The Army's a Blast
Homemade Wine
Dope on a Rope
Damned if You Do...
Flying Dutchman
Tunnel Vision
Lava Lamp
Snake Man
Daring Feet
Amateur Bomb Inspector
Closer Look at Victoria Falls
Other Darwin Years 
2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2004 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Lava Lamp
2004 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

The secret of the Lava Lamp is simple: A light bulb heats a bottle of colored wax and liquid. The wax is denser than the liquid at room temperature, and sits at the bottom. As the wax warms, it expands and rises in an undulating blob. At the top, where the bottle is cooler, the wax becomes cooler and denser and begins to sink.

(30 November 2004, Washington) Twenty-four year old Philip was found dead in the bedroom of his trailer home, with burnt remains of a Lava Lamp strewn over his kitchen. Puzzled investigators eventually pieced together a likely scenario for Philip's last moments.

Lava lamps are a mesmerizing distraction. Philip couldn't wait to fire up his new Lava Lamp. He plugged it in and waited for the pretty globs to begin their surreal dance. But after several frustrating minutes, nothing happened. Then a bright idea hit him: "Why not accelerate this painfully slow process?" He took the lamp to the kitchen, placed it on the stove, and turned up the heat.

In short order, the wax melted and began its sinuous dance. But the liquid was designed to be warmed by a 40-watt bulb. It was over-heated. Entranced by the display, Philip forgot that "heat expands". Whereas there was no room for expansion in the glass bottle, the Lava Lamp resorted to a violent explosion to relieve the pressure.*

One thick shard of glass blew straight through Philips's chest and into his heart. Philip stumbled into his bedroom, perhaps uttering "Aeternum vale!" (latin: farewell forever) as he collapsed and died.

Police found no evidence of alcohol or drug use, so it is safely presumed that Philip was in full possession of his senses when he went out with a bang.

* Why the instructions warn NEVER to place the lamp directly on a heat source, such as a stove.

Reader Comments:
"One should never LOV-A-LAVA too much."
"He "lava" la vida loca!"
"Beware the Lava Lamp."

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: Eric Riddle, Bryan Kemp, camtodd, Tom Staton, Regina McLeron, Frank
Reference: Seattle Times, Seattle PI.

Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend