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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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(2003, Australia) Parents often warn that firecrackers can blow your hand
off, but as a 26-year-old Australian learned, they can also remove your
gonads from the gene pool. An ambulance rushed to an Illawarra park after
receiving reports that a man was hemorrhaging from his behind. The
mercifully unidentified man had placed a lit firecracker between the cheeks
of his buttocks, stumbled, and fell upon it.
"We do caution people against these acts," said Acting Senior Sergeant John Klepczarek of the local police. Emergency surgeon Dr. McCurdie said the resulting wound looked like "a war injury." The explosion was forced upward, "blasted a great hole in the pelvis, ruptured the urethra, and injured muscles," rendering the man incontinent as well as sexually dysfunctional. He survived to tell the tale, making him eligible for the dubious honor of a Living Darwin Award. Darwin notes: The title is a play on words, "Safe and Sane" is a brand of legal firework; insane people cannot actually win Darwin Awards (rules) and this winner doesn't show any signs of insanity.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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