1999 Darwin Awards

In the spirit of Charles Darwin, the Darwin Awards commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives. Darwin Award winners eliminate themselves i an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species' chances of long-term survival.

Laughing Gas  1999 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (16 April 1999, Washington D.C.) We can thank our lucky stars that there are two fewer paramedics around. Carol and Mark were found dead in their suburban home by Mark's 14-year-old son. The couple were wearing respiratory masks attached to an empty canister of nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide, commonly known as laughing gas, produces a short-lived high, and is often used as a relaxant in dental offices and outpatient clinics. Like every other pure gas, it must be mixed with air or oxygen, lest it cause suffocation. Needless to say, Carol and Mark did not mix the nitrous oxide with air. What makes this story a true Darwin Award candidate is that both of the deceased had enough medical training to have known better. Mark was a 10-year veteran paramedic with the District of Columbia Fire Department. Carol was studying to become an emergency medical technician in a suburban fire department. Even more amusing is a quote from the Washington D.C. Fire Department's public information officer, who said that Mark was "one of the most educated and highly trained people we had." That must alleviate the concerns of thousands of D.C. residents! DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008 Submitted by: Matthew Tallmer Reference: Washington Post Joseph Oh Complains "You have a great site; I've spent many an idle moment chuckling at the often antics of our fellow humans. I was however appalled to read one comment. Paramedics and EMTs are dedicated, hard-working men and women who do a difficult and thankless job, not for the pay (which is often poor) but to help their fellow man. To say that it is fortunate to have two fewer paramedics in the world is tasteless and ignorant, and the editor needs to keep that particular opinion off the air. The next time a family member has a medical emergency, let's hear him say that." Darwin rebuts: Joseph it's clear that the comment struck a nerve. I value paramedics, but I don't want two idiots like this strapping a nitrous oxide mask on my face..." Previous Next Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed. $15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author!   Advanced Search HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend