1996 Darwin Awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Hungry Python Kills Owner  1996 Darwin Award Nominee Unconfirmed by Darwin (11 October 1996, New York) A teenager was crushed to death by his pet python after he had failed to keep the snake properly fed, police reported. Grant Williams, 19, was found unconscious in a pool of blood, the life practically squeezed out of him by a 12ft Burmese python named Damien, which was still wrapped over his body. The snake had been given nothing more than a single dead chicken in the past week and may have been crazed by hunger. Mr Williams was found in the hallway. He may have been trying to escape the flat to summon help. Medical orderlies summoned the strength ­ of body and of mind ­ to lift the 45lb, 5in-thick python off Mr Williams and hurl it into an adjacent room, but the snake lover died in hospital. At the time of the attack, Mr Williams was preparing to feed Damien a live chicken. It is possible that the python, peckish, opted for the larger prey. When on the brink of a kill, the Burmese python (Molorus bivattatus) can move with deadly speed, and there are few creatures able to escape its grasp. Mr Williams may have suspected that his familiarity with Damien placed him above danger, but a hungry python does not quibble about such niceties. Captain Thomas Kelly, from the 46th precinct, said: "It looks accidental." Mr Williams and his brother kept a number of snakes, many uncaged, in their Bronx flat. The dead man's mother, Carmelita Williams, said that she had tried to persuade her son to abandon his hobby. "I begged him to get rid of the python," she said, weeping. "I even threatened to call the police." Damien was last night caged at an animal control centre, after being fed. Its fate is uncertain. Skepticism from Pete Butler: I'm no snake expert, just a general information sponge, but I find it hard to believe that the snake was hunger-crazed. Reptiles are cold-blooded and have a slow metabolism. A meal of one chicken a week sounds about right for this snake. The "pool of his own blood" and "life crushed out of him" lines are misleading. It's a myth that constrictors kill their prey by crushing. Actually they suffocate their prey by constricting around the chest. I suspect the "pool of blood" was smaller than we're led to imagine. Still, letting a TWELVE FOOT BLOODY PYTHON roam free in your home definitely makes you a Darwin candidtate. Additional data from Todd Cook Herpetologists speculate that that the young man forgot to wash the chicken smell from his hands. The "pool of blood" could have been from the grip of the snake's mouth. Burmese python have sharp teeth, but the blood they would draw is usually incidental. They kill by constriction, but if the prey resists -- as I am sure the young man did -- the snake will tighten its grip with its mouth. By the way, one animal handler is sufficient for 6' of python, but an extra attendant is required for every additonal 3' of snake. Thus, there should have been three people handling this snake, and it should have been kept in a designated room. What do you think? Tell us on the Forum. Submitted by the Curmudgeon Reference: Times of London, New York Times, LA Times Previous Next Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed. $15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author!   Advanced Search HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend