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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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(27 March 1981, Indiana) Late one March evening, Bruce awoke at the foot of
a utility pole in the woods, his dog asleep by his side and a crispy, dead
raccoon nearby. Bruce was alarmed to discover severe burns on his
forearms, hands and genitals, which were eventually amputated.
What happened? The details came out in court, when Bruce sued the utility company for removing him from the gene pool. He had been out 'coon hunting when his dog caught the scent and chased a raccoon up a power pole. The raccoon perched on a glass insulator. Bruce was prepared for just such an event. He strapped his trusty steel pole climbers to his boots, and made his way up the pole... The court found Bruce contributory negligent, stating succinctly, "It [is] clear that, in climbing the utility pole, slapping and squalling at the raccoon, thereby agitating it when it was perilously close to charged wires, Bruce should have appreciated the hazard that ultimately befell him."
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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