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1999 Personal Accounts
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Jump Rope Blues 
1999 Personal Account

While working in the operating room as a surgical technician, I once had occasion to help operate on a guy who was experiencing extreme pain in his lower abdomen. When we disrobed him to prep him for surgery, we noticed the tip of a round blue object sticking out of his urethra. The doctor palpated his bladder and determined that there was definitely something in there, so we opened up his pelvis, and found his bladder bulging with a tangled mass of blue. When we opened his bladder (a very serious procedure, as they tend to leak after being stitched or stapled shut) we were able to extract about six feet of knotted nylon jump rope. The guy evidently decided to cut the handles off and slide it into his urethra. Once he got a foot or so of the semi-rigid jump rope into his bladder, it naturally began to unwind and coil up, and the end of the rope pushed through the coils. When he tried to pull his exercise equipment out of his bladder, the coils tightened around the free end created a HUGE knot. Try knotting a rope by coiling it around itself and passing the free end through the coils; most fishermen know at least two or three knots that work this way. Needless to say the guy paid dearly for his little experiment in autoerotica.

Lessons:

1.Using a jump rope is not always healthy.

2. Misuse of exercise equipment can result in serious injury.

3. Things should exit, not enter, via the urethra.

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Submitted by: Ryan Bailey

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