The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1999 Personals
Bridge Bowling
Packing the Wardrobe
Disco Dork
Gangster Blues
Tide-ally Impaired
Bridge Bonzai
Jump Rope Blues
Trephination
Levelled
Industrious Brain Dead Private
Train Dodge!
Betrayal of Trussed
Quarry Story
Coke, the Real Thing
Unkindest Cut of All
Flak Vest Test
Cleaning the Head
What a Gas!
Diving Lessons
Polar Bear Lesson
The Iceman Exiteth
Withdrawing Money
North Pacific Deckpecker
Car Surfing
Fun with Forklifts
Cement Punching Bag
Jet Ski Jock
Wives With Chloroform
Leap of Faith
Helium and Oxygen Don't Mix
Elemental Mistake
Newton's Laws of Motion
Accident Waiting to Happen
Breaking the Law
Cat-Astrophe
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
1999 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes deceased) readers. Next
Prev
Random

 
 
The Iceman Exiteth 
1999 Personal Account

(1 April 1999, Wisconsin) It is a common practice in Wisconsin, as in most places with high alcohol consumption levels, to place an old car on the surface of a frozen lake and take bets on when the wreck will finally fall through the melting ice. With the warm weather this year, the betting season had mostly come and gone by the time Clinton, 75, decided to test the ice for himself with an 861 International Tractor.

Clinton, of Lake Flambeau, had been a farmer for 58 years and had recently retired from the business. Perhaps he had intended to die as he had lived, or maybe the emissions from the tractor had given him delusions of grandeur; the world will never know.

All was going Clinton's way that day. He had managed to drive his tractor onto the ice of Lake Flambeau next to his boathouse, stand up in the bucket of his vehicle, and begin painting the boathouse. Then the ice, which happened to be covering 30 feet of water, gave way. Man and tractor plunged in, and Clinton didn't come out until the next morning, with the assistance of a dive team.

The headline read "Lake Flambeau claims first victim," which in itself is amusing considering the relatively passive role that the lake played in the drama. This is an example of natural selection based on a change of habitat. Mr. Darwin would have agreed that Clinton was a member of a species more suited to a field of corn than a thawing lake.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012

Submitted by: Christopher Hayden

Reference: Wisconsin Ladysmith News
Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend