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Darwin Awards
2000 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

 
 
Bicycle Blues  
2000 Personal Account

When my friend and I were kids, I rode a ten-speed and he had a funky little bike whose pedals moved in tandem with the front tire. I dared him to ride down a steep slope of road on his bike. With no more than mild encouragement, down he went. I cheered him on as I rode down with him on my trusty ten-speed in case he ran into trouble.

The faster he went, the faster those pedals whizzed around. As he neared the foot of the hill, he began to panic because he couldn't hit the handbrakes (there weren't any) and he couldn't apply the pedal brakes because the pedals were spinning too fast. I yelled to him to slow the front tire with his shoes.

So what did he do?

He stuck his feet into the spokes of the tire. You can imagine the chain reaction as his feet halted the movement of the tire, causing the bike to flip and buck the lad off the seat. He did a few air somersaults, landed on his head, and slid along ten feet of asphalt, with the bike flipping to land several feet in front of him.

He walked out of the hospital with road rash and a few stitches behind his ear, and swore off that evil bike... for a few weeks, anyway.

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Submitted by: Benj Sinclair

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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

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