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Darwin Awards
2007 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

A Highly Improbable Trajectory
2007 Personal Account


 
A rare non-fatal Darwin Award. Nobody dies!

In a suburban ER, the first patient of the evening was a young man suffering from a gunshot wound. His story? "I was at a party and went outside to take a piss. Somebody did a drive-by and shot me." I examined him and found a small-calber entry wound at the anterior base of his penis, out the mid-shaft, in and out the right testicle, and into the right thigh, where the bullet lodged.

A highly improbable trajectory for a drive-by.

The nurse picked up his white jeans, which had been cut off and thrown aside. Inside the waistband were unmistakeable powder burns. She said to him, "You had a gun down your pants!"

At first 'Billy the Kid' denied it, but finally admitted to shooting himself while playing quick-draw with a friend. The reason for the attempted deception? He was on parole for a weapons violation.

The nature of the injury effectively removed him fron the gene pool.

Original Submission

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
Submitted by: Deborah French

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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

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