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The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. |
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(September 2003, Florida) A young man came into the emergency room in Tampa
complaining of scrotal pain. The triage nurse sent him to a waiting area,
where his girlfriend held his hand lovingly and tried to comfort him. Two
hours later he was called into an examination room. He insisted that his
girlfriend wait outside. The male nurse who examined him saw that his
scrotum had swollen to the size of a basketball, hanging down to his
mid-thigh.
The nurse asked the young man how this had happened. After much hesitation, he finally confided that he attempted to make his scrotum appear larger to impress his girlfriend, who had remarked that he did not have "big balls" like her last boyfriend. He bought a kit online, and injected 500 cc of normal saline into his scrotum with an IV needle. This self-improvement effort had caused a severe case of cellulitis, which required large doses of IV antibiotics and a three-day hospital stay. The doctor told him that the swelling had put tremendous pressure on his testes, and he might be sterile because of it. He tried to hide his affliction from his girlfriend as he was moved upstairs to his room. The male nurse wasn't sure whether the young man had managed to impress her, but he had certainly proved to the ER staff that he had big balls.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection
Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.$15 A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools. This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization. Autographed by Author! |
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