2005 Personal Accounts

The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers.

Bullet-Brain 2005 Personal Account (ca. 1954, Under the Sea) My grandfather served for ages in the Royal Navy and related this story to me about his time aboard the HMS Truncheon, a rivet-hulled diesel-electric submarine. Two men, the ship's Petty Officer and an Ordinary Seaman, were drinking in the mess wardroom. Having cheerfully consumed all the available alcohol (presumably above and beyond the daily ration of rum) the Seaman asked the Petty Officer to do him a favor. He wanted a bullet shot through his hat. At depth, a submarine hull is under pressure, but the atmosphere inside is not. That's why the crew doesn't suffer from the "bends" as the submarine submerges and surfaces. This pressure difference makes a breach in the hull very dangerous. If the hull is under 10 atmospheres of pressure (at 100 meters) a breach could fill 90% of the interior with water. Because a breach in the hull could be deadly to the entire crew, and because a ricocheting bullet would be dangerous to the crew in such close quarters even if it did not puncture the hull, firearms are locked up aboard ship. Nevertheless, the Petty Officer honored his friend's request, retrieved a 9mm Beretta from his locker, and in an alcoholic haze opened fire on the hat, which was still on his friend's head. Despite the amount of alcohol consumed, he was pretty much bang on target. Ignoring the ricocheting bullet and the screams as the rest of the crew ducked, the Ordinary Seaman removed his hat and examined the bullet hole that had pierced it just an inch from his head. "Too far away," he said. "I want it closer in. Have another shot." Famous last words. The next bullet creased him along his skull, and hurled him to the floor, bleeding and unconscious. Both men were tossed out of the Royal Navy. My grandfather recently told this story to his table during one of those seamen's dinner-and-dance parties, and was shocked when one man eyed him coldly and informed him that it had been his uncle on the receiving end of the bullet! DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008 Reference: Joshua Sinyor Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great? Hate it! Love it!

Previous Next