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Darwin Awards
2004 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

 
 
Watch Where You're Going
2004 Personal Account

(Summer 2003, USA) I hired several laborers to prepare two garden areas for me. They needed some supplies, so I showed them the location of ice water and the bathroom, and left to obtain the supplies. Upon my return, I found an ambulance in front of my home, along with two police cars.

The police informed me that the neighbor had called 911 to report a naked man screaming and running around the yard next door.

As it turned out, one of the laborers had needed to answer the call of nature. Rather than use the bathroom, he went into the woods behind our house, dropped his trousers, and squatted down -- right on top of a huge nest of hornets.

He was released from the hospital after a week, having learned a very painful and nearly fatal lesson: always watch where you're going.

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Submitted by: Cy Stapleton

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The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 

 


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