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Darwin Awards
2002 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

Mixing Bread Dough
2002 Personal Account

(2001, England) Adam was a student chef at Exeter College. If it had been his first semester, one could forgive his mistake, but in fact he was a third-year student.

Adam's project was to cook an Italian meal. He decided to make a traditional bread to accompany the meal and, eager to use the department's new bread mixer, he tossed in the ingredients -- not taking into account the sticky nature of Italian bread dough. It clogged the machine.

In Alan's infinite wisdom, he proceeded to pull out the dough with his hands, to free the machine's mixing arm, without switching it off. As you and every other student chef could predict, once he had succeeded in clearing the path, the mixer arm swung into action -- and broke his arm in four places.

Nine weeks later Adam returned to college amid much ridicule. When asked how he had managed to break his arm whilst making bread, he felt obliged to demonstrate, so in plunged his hand -- and snap went his arm, again.

Adam left Exeter College never to return.

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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

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The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

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