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2002 Personal Accounts
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The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. |
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Watch!... Cool!...
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(January 2002, Florida) Florida has its share of colorful characters but few as colorful as Coli E., a good friend and drinking companion. Coli is nothing if not unique. An oft-repeated story concerns my buddy Colt, and I recount it to you as told to me.
In the early morning one Sunday in 1993 Coli was driving home from a night of revelry, a.k.a. barhopping. Crammed into his Dodge Colt were fellow revelers Jarvis, Jeffro, and Judd, each at his own stage of inebriation. As Coli piloted his car along the roadway he came upon a closed section with fiberglass markers that stuck a few feet out of the ground. They were positioned in such a way that no one could miss the alarming 20-foot drop on the other side. The temptation of those markers proved irresistible. "Hey, watch this!" Coli guided his car onto the shoulder of the road, with the intention of driving over the markers and creating interesting sound effects. But things did not go as he planned. "Colt Coli" lost traction and slid off the embankment, becoming airborne briefly before rolling to settle on its roof some distance from the road. The four occupants hung from their seatbelts in silence for what seemed an eternity. Bob was the first to speak. "Coli that was really cool." E. Coli plans to obtain his commercial crop-duster's license.
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