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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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Our young hero, accompanied by his concerned young girlfriend, sought professional medical advice. Upon entering the examination room, the young man gingerly lowered his pants and asked for my opinion on his immensely swollen, dark purple penis. Attempting to defuse his anxiety, I calmly asked what had happened. He was unwilling to speak. His girlfriend replied hesitantly, "Nothing. We woke up this morning and it was like that."
The physician reassured the young couple that: This young man was blessed with a girlfriend with vacuum cleaner suction, and the previous night he had suffered severe barotrauma to his most beloved anatomical structure. Yes, he had almost been sucked out of the gene pool!
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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