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Darwin Awards
2009 Honorable Mentions
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Single Bud Vase
2009 Honorable Mention
Unconfirmed by Darwin

MEDICAL REPORT: I was a nurse on a busy surgical unit, and I received a report that a young patient was arriving with "severe penile lacerations." I could not imagine what this poor lad had done to injure himself. The 21-year-old patient confided that, upset by his girlfriend's unwillingness to have intimate relations, he had romanced a flower vase. Alas, in the heat of the moment the bud vase shattered, lacerating his penis.

He required emergency surgery. Afterward, the urologist told us that the boy would require a catheter for weeks, and he was unsure if his mojo would be functional. I felt sorry for the kid, but did laugh when I saw his girlfriend walking down the hall, bringing flowers.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
Submitted by: Anonymous Nurse
Reference: Personal Account of Medical Personnel

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The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

 


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