Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive (near miss) Medical Report."

I was a nurse on a busy surgical unit when I received report that I'd be getting a young patient with "Severe penile lacerations". I could not, in my wildest dreams, imagine what this poor lad had actually done to injure himself. As it turns out, the young man, who was I believe around 21 at the time, had been upset by his girlfriend's unwillingness to have sexual relations with him. In his frustrated state, he "romanced" a flower vase from his parent's house, alas, in the heat of the moment, the vase shattered, lacerating his penis so severely he required emergency surgery. The urological surgeon told us that the boy would require a catheter to urinate for weeks, if not months, and he was unsure if his manly organ would ever be functional again. I had to feel sorry for the kid, but I did laugh when I saw his girlfriend walking down the hall, bringing flowers to his hospital room.

Submitted on 02/01/2009

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference:

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
After much consideration, I will elect to keep this one as a PA. What hooked me was the irony of the girlfriend bringing flowers to the victim after the fact! Thanks!

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I hope you confiscated the vase that the girlfriends flowers were in! Thanks for a funny PA.

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