Daily News.
September 15, 2014
The Evolution Revolution

Homo sapiens sapiens
Endangered Species.



The Darwin Awards: In Search Of Smart.


(May 2014, England) In the interest of public safety, the Darwin Awards editors are releasing this ribald and unsavory event to the public to serve as a warning to adventurous amorous males. EYEWITNESS: "Being part of the emergency services, upon one occasion we were called to the A&E Department of a central London hospital to assist in removing a thing ring... (more)


(2 March 2014, Rotterdam, Netherlands) Two apparently intoxicated men dared each other to test their courage against an intercity train at a Rotterdam train station. At 1800 hours on a Sunday night, the station was crowded with more than 300 fans returning from a soccer-match pitting Feyenoord against Ajax at De Kuip, the most beautiful soccer stadium in Holland... (more)

NO DARWIN AWARD: "No Bull, No Bullets!"

3 August 2014, Chicago | NOT a Darwin Award winner: the accidental shooting death of a man who failed to prove that his gun had no bullets, when he pointed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger. Moderators have ruled this recent Illinois shooting death "too common" and lacking the creativity of a true Darwin Award. Sorry, Mr. Zyzanski (rawstory.com)


17 July 2014, Poland | In a small town in Poland tragedy struck as seven people accidentally drowned in a cesspool, one after another. The first death was that of a tractor driver whose job was to empty the septic tank; he succumbed to highly toxic hydrogen sulfide fumes and lost consciousness, falling into the pool. Following him were six "rescuers"... (polskieradio.pl)

DOUBLE DARWIN AWARD: Selfie With Elephant

(30 April 2014) Found-on-the-Internet photo in honor of the deadly "selfie" photo. On May 1 two men in Kenya were capturing selfies with a wild elephant when they were trampled to death by the irate pachyderm who proceeded to bury the corpses with brush. The two men were actually touching the elephant's face while taking the photos. Charles Darwin cautions, "When taking sensational selfies, remember the Photoshop option." (www.nation.co.ke)


(30 April 2014) Honorable Mention. Alive without a brain? Six days before his scheduled release, a convict broke out of a Portland jail and enjoyed twelve hours of freedom before being apprehended at a nearby Jack in the Box. The math genius had served 97% of his sentence.

Out of the Box, back into the Box, a classic Jack in the Box.

APOLOGIES: Author Slack Attack.

Hi! I'm Wendy, the author of the Darwin Awards and of late, a major slacker. The updates have been spotty to nonexistent and there are cobwebs and spiders lurking all over this website. While I'm getting the news up to date, please enjoy a browse in our Slush Pile.

The Slush Pile has been moderated by volunteers for years, and the fans and I owe them a round of drinks and free popcorn. So check out the Slush Pile archives, the fountain from which the Darwin Awards are fished.

Thanks for waiting--Wendy is back!

FAVORITE DIY DEATHS handyman on a ladder
watching a painting crash to the floor

From the archives, some beloved "do it yourself" handymen and innovators.

2007 Darwin Award: Fatal a-Traction
2009 At-Risk Survivor: A Drilliant Idea
2008 Darwin Award: An Illuminating Story
2002 Darwin Award: The Worm Has Turned
2007 Darwin Award: Whac-A-Mole
2009 At-Risk Survivor: Mr. Tinker
2008 Darwin Award: Not a Shred of Sense
2009 At-Risk Survivor: Motorized Bar Stool
2008 Darwin Award: Killer Fuel Economy
2009 At-Risk Survivor: Homemade Howitzer
At-Risk Survivor: Unfinished Project
2000 Darwin Award: Do It Yourself, Do Yourself In

Human Intelligence is MIA,
Presumed Dead.

Evolve! Urges the ghost of Charles Darwin.


Darwin Awards: Extinction of Species.
"Clap, clap, clap."



The author
wishes to
for her
vacancy, and
warmly greet
the staunch
fans of the
Darwin Awards.
Blessed are
they who only
sit and wait.

"Darwin Awards: We watch the watchman watch the watchmen."
Natural selection deems that some individuals
serve as a warning to others.
  Who are we to disagree?
The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors.

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