Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2009 Mentions
The Mane Attraction
My Father, the PhD
ICanSayIToldYouSo
Mortar Fire
Boom Boom Bees
Single Bud Vase
Down In The Dumps
On-Call Orthopod
Pill Pusher
Cap-ping Cap-pow
White Spirit
Chutes and Spills
Bonehead Bowling
Agua Ski Calamity
Duct Don't
Nitrating The Unknown
Not Even Half-Baked
Mr. Tinker
Clap Clap Clap Your Hands
Gimpy Wendy
Hot Buns
Cats Land On All Fours
A Putty Bullet
Christmas Light Zinger
Ninja Wannabe
The Great Fruitcake Incident
Ninja Deer Hunter
An Un-Fun Whirlwind
Popsicle
Locker Room Humor
Caps'n'Hammer Kid
Tennis Blow
A Clear Lesson
A Drilliant Idea
Motorized Bar Stool
Birch Slapped
Against The Odds, Nothing!
Other Mention Years 
2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Boom Boom Bees
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(1999) Our hero had just moved into a rental home. The yard had not been mowed in over a year. He set about mowing down the overgrown weeds, and soon ran right over a foot-wide hole. Out came an angry army of yellowjackets! As he ran in terror, our man knew he had to get rid of these pests somehow, and soon.

He sat on the porch pondering the problem over a few brews. As an interim solution, he poured a five-gallon jug of gasoline down the hole, then drank more beer and watched the sun set. What was the likelihood that the mission was accomplished? An hour later he decided to err on the side of caution and burn them out.

He lit a match and tossed it at the hole. Boom, and I mean KABOOM. Hair on arms? Gone! Eyebrows? Gone! Walkway? Cracked, and a six-foot crater where the wasp nest had been. As he stood there burnt and smoking, beer in hand, wife shrieking in the background, he knew he had won...the Dumb Ass Award.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
Reference: Personal Account, Bobby Sutton

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

 

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend