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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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(25 March 2005, Salina, Kansas) "At the time, he was uncooperative," said
the Saline County Sheriff, describing the difficulty deputies encountered
in determining the cause of a self-inflicted bullet wound. Perhaps Michael,
the 27-year-old victim of his inner klutz, was simply embarrassed to admit
he had managed to shoot himself in the groin with a 22-caliber bullet,
while armed only with a pellet gun.
The deputy's report included no mention of alcohol, so Michael was apparently sober when he placed a bullet on a picnic table and fired at it with his air rifle. The results he expected are not known. But the experiment yielded conclusive data. As he eventually, and abashedly, explained to a detective, "a pellet from the rifle hit the shell, causing it to explode." The bullet shot into his groin, fragmenting into an area rich with major nerves and arteries, thereby presenting an interesting challenge to Kansas City neurosurgeons. They were up to the task, and Michael was thereby depriving of winning a full Darwin Award... this time!
Darwin says, "Recursively, we were recently mentioned in the Saline County
Journal, the source of this article."
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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