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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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(10 December 2004, Washington) Not far from the Eastern Washington State
Hospital for the mentally handicapped, Zach, an 18-year-old "A" student in
gun safety classes, decided to impress his girlfriend with his coyote
hunting skills. He needed a live chicken as bait. So, girlfriend in one
hand and .22 caliber rifle in the other, he entered the butchering barn
where carefree chickens roamed.
You never know how mixing testosterone, chickens, and guns will turn out. There are so many variables. Zach swung the rifle at a fluttering fowl, but the rafters got in the way. The gun butt hit the ceiling and discharged, sending a bullet into his right forearm and out the elbow. He didn't realize he had shot himself until he noticed his right hand twitching, and took his coat off for a closer look. Zach shared the lesson he learned: "To know you shot yourself and came close to dying, it's a pretty scary deal. You've gotta be careful with guns."
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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