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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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(17 January 2004, Bristol, England) The Clifton Suspension Bridge, 250 feet
above the 700-foot-wide Avon Gorge, has attracted people with something to
prove ever since it was finished. In 1885 Sarah Ann Henley threw herself
from the bridge after an argument with a boyfriend, and was saved by her
parachute-like dress and cushiony crinoline petticoats. In 1957, a Flying
Officer of the RAF successfully flew a Vampire jet under the bridge at 450
mph. He briefly celebrated before he and his jet disintegrated on the
cliffs on the south side.
To prevent further incidents, rules were established prohibiting under-flights, over-jumps, and other aberrant behavior. Bungee jumping is specifically banned. Despite strict rules, the historic bridge attracts many would-be Darwin candidates, such as James, 22, who violated the rules and lived to tell the tale. James walked onto the bridge, attached a lengthy bungee cord, and leapt off. His plan was to set himself on fire, cut the cord, and drop into the river below, quenching the flames. Unfortunately his knife was not up to the task. The blazing man dangled over the river for 26 interminable seconds, before he found a spare knife and severed the rope. At long last he plunged into the river, which extinguished the flames, and swam off. James was taken to the Bristol Royal Infirmary and later transferred to the Burn Unit in the city. A spokesperson for the Dangerous Sports Club told the BBC, "His heart is in the right place, but stunt men usually put on flame-retardant suits." James himself told the BBC that it was a thrill-seeking stunt that went horribly wrong. After that brief comment, he demanded 1000 pounds for a full interview.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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