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The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. |
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(4 April 1983, Washington, DC) Gaboon vipers are large, aggressive, ill
tempered, and among the most venomous snakes in the world. Despite these
characteristics, they are normally sedentary. So it was not difficult for
Louis, who had a penchant for snakes, to purloin two from the National Zoo.
He shoved them into a plastic garbage bag, where they remained, quite
docile, until Louis boarded a warm city bus. When the snakes warmed up,
they roused from lethargy and realized how undesirable their new
accommodations were. Naturally they decided to move. Our 16-year-old
herpetologist was bitten when one of the vipers ripped its fangs through
the plastic bag.
He landed in the hospital, where antivenin serum was administered until he regained his senses. The purloined vipers were taken to the basement of the zoo's reptile house, where they were treated to a week of stress-free observation. Viper venoms are hemotoxic (act on the blood) as compared to the neurotoxic venoms of elapids (cobras and adders). The Viper family has three subfamilies: the mountain viper Azemiopinae, true viper Viperinae, and pit viper Crotalinae. They are found worldwide. -Introduction to Herpetology, 3rd ed., Goin, Goin, and Zug, pp333-36.
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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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