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Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. |
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(13 September 2000, Indiana)
The antics of an unidentified Lafayette pilot are surely a source of private chagrin to his relatives. During his fly-by-night escapades, the jovial aviator enjoyed circling an area of town and toasting the people below with Coors beer. This time he went too far.
He was flying his Ultra Light aircraft over a small section of homes, saluting the spectators with his beer can, when he smashed into a homeowner's huge TV tower. It is a mystery how he could fail to notice the 150-foot structure, particularly as it was topped with a gaudy Christmas tree star, but fail to notice it he did. The aircraft knocked a a 45-foot section out of the tower, sliced through three steel cables, and dove to within 40 feet of the ground before the embarrassed pilot managed to regain control and fly away. The Red Baron caused about $4000 of damage. Although his identity is unknown, several clues were found at the scene: his left shoe, sunglasses, and a can of Coors Light were among the debris left by the plane. A compass and speedometer were also found. Police are baffled by the crash, and not sure whether to consider criminal charges. Lt. Rick Blacker said, "I don't think an Ultra Light would classify as a vehicle." The next time you are in Indiana, look for a guy with only one shoe and holding a beer. He just might be the mystery marauder.
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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