Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
Vintage Mentions
Lawn Chair Larry
Scrotum Self-Repair
Plane Stupid
Official Drug Test
Firewalls
Blondes and Oil Changes
Pumped Up!
Stingy Scientist
Outwitting a Thief
Cooking with Gas
Poor Sense of Direction
License to Steal
Chicken with a Train
Sunny Side Up
Klutzy Crook
Right Tool for the Right Job
Spare Some Change?
Other Mention Years 
2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
1996 Honorable Mentions
Email a Friend Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures. Next
Prev
Random

Outwitting a Thief  
1996 Honorable Mention
Unconfirmed by Darwin

Disqualified by Darwin January 2007: This is not only stupid, but also unconfirmed.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50 am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008

Reference: Ann Arbor News

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend