(January 2009, Russia) "A raging raccoon has bitten off a pervert's
privates as he was trying to rape the animal," screams the headline. When
most of us see a wild animal, raping it never enters our minds. Why would
Alexander, 44, was on a drunken weekend with friends in Moscow when he
leapt on the terrified animal. "When I saw the raccoon I thought I'd have
some fun," he told stunned casualty surgeons. Although there was not much
left to work with, plastic surgeons were trying to restore his mangled
If he is unable to procreate he is eligible for a Darwin Award. Thus
far no reports have "leaked" on the success of the shaft graft.
"I hope it doesn't work. I'm an animal lover."
"Next time try a beaver."
Darwin says, "Although this story was submitted dozens of times--citing
news articles from Belgium, Denmark, Norway, Italy, Japan, and Australia--I
have classified this story as an Urban Legend because the sole source of
these news reports is The Sun tabloid. If you have a reliable source
confirming the story, please CONTACT
Amusing translation of a Belgium newspaper.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: Jonathan Brown
Reference: www.thesun.co.uk; FailBlog photo