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UNCONFIRMED - The Thing Ring
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Darwin Awards
2014 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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UNCONFIRMED: The Thing Ring

2014 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin/Wendy says, "In the interest of public safety, the Darwin Awards editors are releasing this ribald and unsavory event to the public to serve as a warning to adventurous amorous males. The event was brought too our attention by an emergency services worker in London, who provided sufficient details (some withheld for privacy reasons) to confirm this eyewitness account."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

Being part of the emergency services we get called upon to get people out of all sorts of situations.

This one occasion we were called to a central London hospital to assist in cutting off of a cock ring. With our ring cutters at the ready, we were presented with the patient, his extremely swollen (dark purple, almost blackened) meat and two veg and one titanium cock ring. Now, normally this is a 5 minute affair, but our cutters couldn't even make a mark on the ring. Unfortunately after a number of cutter blades and an hour or so of trying we had to concede defeat.

It turns out that the man in question had got himself into this situation 3 days prior to committing himself to A&E. Embarrassment and the hope that it would go down on it's own prevented him from going sooner. Unfortunately for him this error in judgement cost him dearly. Had he gone sooner the wonderful doctors would have been able to drain the blood and remove the ring how it was meant to be removed. By the time he had committed himself and we had been defeated, his manhood was already way past saving. Full castration and a nominee for a living Darwin Award

Submitted on 06/02/2014

Submitted by: Neil Lague-smith
Reference: Autumn 2011

Copyright © 2014 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Yikes! Thanks for making me cringe, Neil! Unbelievable that he waited 3 days to go get help...


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Yeek! Thanks for the squirm-inducing submission, Neil!


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