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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Not baked, really.

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

This was told to us firsthand by the star of the story, and I have no reason to doubt her. Women Darwinists are like women murderers: fewer than the men and more fastidious, they prefer cleaner, more wholesome methods for their special acts.

A working mother, our heroine was bagged after an extended night shift but decided to stay up a few extra hours til the kids came home from school. Being a thoughtful mom and a junk food junkie, one of these personai groggily decided this was the time to bake a nice cake.

The ancient electric mixer had one of those detachable cords that plug into the back like your computer, only most computers have the sense to avoid the kitchen. Things were going well - flour, sugar, butter, cocoa - til the loose old cord popped out of the mixer and landed in the dough. Plop. Did I mention that these cords were ungrounded?

Ever the safety-conscious professional she carefully turned off and set aside the completely inert mixer. But what do you do with extra cake batter? What anyone does - she stuck the live electrical cord in her mouth and found herself on the floor, suddenly very wide awake. No, I don't know what happened to the cake.

Having lived to tell the tale and reproduced she's disqualified from the Darwin twice, but there is an ironic twist. Who would relate such an idiotic thing? Our Occupational First Aid instructor, introducing the module on electric shock. Her sensitive position with a workplace safety organizaton impels me to hold back her name, but surely anyone dumb enought to electrocute themself mouth-first and honest enough to use it as a lesson afterward deserves Honorable Mention.

Submitted on 07/11/2009

Submitted by: Ron McIntyre
Reference:

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
For a minute, I thought this was going in a predictable direction, but when you got to the part about her LICKING the cord, I couldn't stop laughing! She took EVERY OTHER precaution EXCEPT the one that mattered...! A funny twist on the usual mishap with appliances! I will vote to keep this one! Thanks, Ron!


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree with James!


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