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2008 December Slush
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Just Another Soldier

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a soldier account. Anyone who has spent some time on active duty can come up with at least a chapter's worth of darwin-worthy accounts. There was a ne'erdowell in my last unit who started his saga when he was placed under my command upon his arrival. Fist mistake: getting roaring drunk and hunting satellite dishes with his car, then falling asleep-in the middle of the road. Then he got pegged for abuse of class-A drugs, (a kiss of death in the US military)....then broke even more rules when he got roaring drunk...AGAIN-after being ordered not to-and drove his car directly to a member of the unit's house where he was turned back over to the unit and subsequently was proccesed out of the army.

Submitted on 12/24/2008

Submitted by: Collier, Serenity
Reference: Personal Account, 2007

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Candi said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
I know what you mean about soldiers -my dad was in the army for 22-23 years, including doing rounds as a drill seargent, and some of his stories...! But even so, this is a dumb crook story, since there was never any threat to dumbo's life or ability to reproduce. Try dumbcrooks.com, dumbcriminals.com, or americasdumbestcriminals.com. I'm sure they'll love it! Thanks, <proper rank here> Serenity Collier, and submit again!


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I myself am a National Guardsman (Bandsman, E-5) but spent 10.5 years as a Naval Officer, so yes, Serenity, I too have a chapter of such tales! I am electing to keep this because the military goes through hoops to try and keep its members on the up-and-up. Needless to say, this fellow just didn't get it. I am also keeping this because I SYMPATHIZE with you! Getting stuck with an 8-ball is a 24/7 headache!


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'm with James on this one. How this guy got into the military and made it for so long before getting drummed out (or worse) boggles the mind. Thanks!


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