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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

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Pyromaniacs and Desks

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Okay, pyromaniacs and probably many other people are going to be pretty unimpressed by this but hey, whatever. A few weeks ago i developed a lsight facination for setting paper on fire and then just watching it burn and go out. Actually, it wasn't just paper, it was also wooden cutlery, and...because i knew that cotton was very flammable...cotton pads for taking off makeup. They burn for ages, it's very pretty. Anyway. I found a pad of coloured paper somewhere in my desk in my room, and discovered that putting different coloured paper in makes the fmae a different colour slightly. I was doing this for quite a while, and just dropping the pices of paper onto my desk (by my computer with various trailing wires...) for a while, when i realized that a small fire had started on my desk from the bits of paper that survived when the flames when out. I just watched it for a while, as you do, as it had happened before and usually the fire goes out after a while. ...it came to my attention that this one wasn't going out. I actually started blowing on it in an attemp to make it go out, but of course, this just provided it with oxygen and pushed it toward my computer, which was on. Panicking slightly, i ran into the bathroom to grab a sponge and soaked it in water. However, in hindssight it was not a good idea to grab a spnge from the bathroom as, as i then found out, it had probably had soemthing flammable on it beforehand. As i squeezed the water on the fire, it - whooshed! - up and managed to touch the bottom of the shelf above. there are still marks... Now panicking much more, i tried to think of what else put out fires. eventually i ran down to get my mother, who promptly grabbed a still-damp towell from the bathroom...i feeling more than a little stupid...and smothered the flames, but not before i noted that the wires had melted slightly. Thankfully, this only covered the bite marks my pet rat had left in them when she'd escaped once. i can't help but wonder if, athough individual incidents may not appear especially tupid or Darwinian, a combination of all the stupid things i have done in my fifteen years may well have proved impressive.

incidentally, not long after this, during a chemistry practical lesson, after an experiment involving heating metal carbonates to see if they produce carbon dioxide (of COURSE they do!!) some one deemed it perfectly reasonable to dump the extremely hot powders into a bin full of paper. it took filling the entire thing with water until the flames went out.

Submitted on 11/29/2008

Submitted by: EleanARGH
Reference: October, 2008. Not exactly facinating or major enoguh to make the papers.

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Playing with fire is pretty common with kids, almost a rite of passage when growing up. However I did all my experimenting outdoors, not on the desk in my room where there was plenty of other stuff that could go up in flames. Thanks for a humorous story.

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I REALLY agree with Bruce!

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