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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Old Man River don't clean tires.

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Avoided a full Darwin, but perhaps an honorable mention? Woodinville man nearly drowns cleaning Humvee's tires in Columbia River

Associated Press

QUINCY -- Authorities in Grant County say a 48-year-old Woodinville man nearly drowned Thursday night after he deliberately drove his Humvee into the Columbia River near Quincy.

Undersheriff John Turley said Merle Sorenson told deputies he "was not thinking" and drove into the water at a boat launch to see how far the vehicle could go and still back out.

Turley says Sorenson -- who admitted drinking six beers -- also said he wanted to "clean his tires."

The Humvee went into the water about 11:30 p.m. Thursday. Four people escaped the floating vehicle, but Sorenson was trapped with only his head above water.

Rescuers attached a tow truck line and moved the vehicle far enough out of the water to save Sorenson before it sank farther.

Sorenson was treated at Quincy Valley Hospital for mild hypothermia and later released.

Submitted on 11/01/2008

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Herald of Snohomish County November 1, 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Cleaning your bloody tires in the COLUMBIA RIVER?!?!? No matter _how_ tanked you are, that requires some special lack of brains. Thanks!

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
It sounds like the four passengers weren't hurt, and this guy was incredibly lucky his rescuers acted as quickly as he did. Remind me to NEVER accept a ride from this guy if I'm ever out in the Pacific northwest... Thanks!

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