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2008 August Slush
HM:Bench Press
HM:A Clear Lesson
DIY Chainsaw
?:Firebomb Failure
man eaten by crocodile
Death by compactor
HM:Riders on the Storm
Sewage plant fall
.Dis-arm
Self-bris near-miss
Too smart to ba a Carney
Copper thief melted to pole
TS Fay Slams Kite Surfer
The Hurricane Between The Ears
A new kind of hurt
Survival of the Luckiest
Man found dead head firstin sewer
Python Kills Intern
Smoking in bedrooms is bad enough
Does Stupid Hurt?
Crocodile eats man who sought its b
Running With Knives
NO:Smarter than a 5th Grader?
Dancing in the roof with energy
Vacuming and gasoline explosive!
Attempted Suicide by Cat
Homemade bazooka
When Stealing, Remember: Safety Fir
Don't eat nachos on a motorcyle
Don't Drill In The Rain
A Night On the Road
Prairie City man injured in Des Moi
The line got him
Hospital Drunks
bottle rockets
Burned On A Utility Pole
Bust a nut
Robber shot to death by victim
Man Refuses smoke detectors - dies
Man Dies After Falling on Butcher K
Youth dies after train roof bet
Aborted Campout
Looking for "pleasure" in a hole
"Bricklayer" legend's an old song
Man trying to steal copper wires ge
Dallas copper thief is done
Orca Avenger
Dallas copper thief is done
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Running With Knives

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Hmmm . . . let's see . . .

six pack . . . check . . .

hat on sideways . . . check . . .

kids and car keys . . . D'OH!

O.K. I admit it. The six pack and the hat may be stretching the story a little, but one thing IS for certain: Miguel Angel Rivera Lemus, 22, can now be counted among the "reproductively insignificant."

It seems that Miguel and his wife, while stopping by their apartment before running an errand, experienced a brief episode of cognitive flight (a.k.a. "brain farts") and left their kids and the keys locked inside their car. Miguel, in a moment of fatal x-y (male) chromosome decisiveness, grabbed a large butcher knife with which to pry open a window. It must not have worked, because Miguel, at some point, went running down some stairs (six according to the story), knife in hand (always a precursor to a bad ending), tripped and fell on the blade, fatally stabbing himself while hitting the genetic stop sign . . . HARD.

"O.K. Big deal." you say. But there's more. You see, the great "sucking sound" in this story occurs when one reads that Miguel's wife, possessing the unfair x-x (female) chromosome combination, went to their apartment, got the spare keys, opened the car, and let out the kids, less one Miguel.

Submitted on 08/25/2008

Submitted by: Reuben Wesley
Reference: http://www.wyff4.com/news/17287250/detail.html#-

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
Thanks, we've already received this story a number of times.


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
I like this write up. Original write ups, as opposed to cut-and-paste news clippings, should always get a chance to be voted on by the readers.


Tracy said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Thanks - we already have this story, but I do like your writeup!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 

 

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