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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Bench Press

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive (near miss)."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

It's raining... You're lonely.... Why not do some bench-pressing?

This HM story has already been rejected, but I've found a reference - There are some great pictures here : http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/08/07/man-almost-loses-penis-humping-steel-bench/?takeit

I was going to re-write the article, but actually, it's quite a dry-humoured article which makes me laugh anyway - I will re-write it if people agree!

Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian Park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole. He panicked and called the police to help him.

When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.

Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his penis.

Lets just say this is probably one bad date that Xing will never forget.

Another online reference: http://www.asylum.com/2008/08/11/man-humps-bench-gets-stuck/

Submitted on 08/11/2008

Submitted by: Tracy
Reference: www.weirdasianews.com : Aug 7 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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Tracy said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Well - I submitted it, so I think it's wonderful :-)


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Thanks, this is the sort of verification we needed, and the pictures do make it a bit more humorous!


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Buy the Tree of Life T-Shirt

 

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