Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2008 August Slush
HM:Bench Press
HM:A Clear Lesson
DIY Chainsaw
?:Firebomb Failure
man eaten by crocodile
Death by compactor
HM:Riders on the Storm
.Dis-arm
Sewage plant fall
Self-bris near-miss
Too smart to ba a Carney
Copper thief melted to pole
TS Fay Slams Kite Surfer
The Hurricane Between The Ears
A new kind of hurt
Survival of the Luckiest
Man found dead head firstin sewer
Running With Knives
Python Kills Intern
Smoking in bedrooms is bad enough
Does Stupid Hurt?
Crocodile eats man who sought its b
NO:Smarter than a 5th Grader?
Dancing in the roof with energy
Vacuming and gasoline explosive!
Attempted Suicide by Cat
When Stealing, Remember: Safety Fir
Don't Drill In The Rain
A Night On the Road
Don't eat nachos on a motorcyle
Homemade bazooka
Hospital Drunks
Bust a nut
Prairie City man injured in Des Moi
Youth dies after train roof bet
The line got him
bottle rockets
Burned On A Utility Pole
Aborted Campout
Robber shot to death by victim
Man Refuses smoke detectors - dies
Man Dies After Falling on Butcher K
Looking for "pleasure" in a hole
"Bricklayer" legend's an old song
Man trying to steal copper wires ge
Dallas copper thief is done
Orca Avenger
Dallas copper thief is done
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Bench Press

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive (near miss)."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

It's raining... You're lonely.... Why not do some bench-pressing?

This HM story has already been rejected, but I've found a reference - There are some great pictures here : http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/08/07/man-almost-loses-penis-humping-steel-bench/?takeit

I was going to re-write the article, but actually, it's quite a dry-humoured article which makes me laugh anyway - I will re-write it if people agree!

Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian Park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole. He panicked and called the police to help him.

When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.

Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his penis.

Lets just say this is probably one bad date that Xing will never forget.

Another online reference: http://www.asylum.com/2008/08/11/man-humps-bench-gets-stuck/

Submitted on 08/11/2008

Submitted by: Tracy
Reference: www.weirdasianews.com : Aug 7 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Tracy said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Well - I submitted it, so I think it's wonderful :-)


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Thanks, this is the sort of verification we needed, and the pictures do make it a bit more humorous!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend