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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

"Sp-Arkansas"

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Remember: "The Right Tool for the Right Job." Apparently, this eternal handyman's lesson was ignored by 33 year-old Lonnie Montgomery of Conway, Arkansas recently when electricity to his house was cut off for non-payment, dang it.

You see, down on Skunk Hollow Road (no kidding) where he lived, when the power is cut off, people by God just take matters into their own hands. Lonnie, in a flash of short-sighted electrical work, did just that by taking a set of jumper cables (NOT the right tool for the job) to reconnect the power to his house. His plan, not being carefully thought through (nor the proper permits being obtained), failed fatally instantly reducing to zero Lonnie's reproductive probability. Lonnie, as a testament to poor planning, was found outside his home still clutching one end of the jumper cables, the other end connected to the meter box.

In a remarkable twist of irony in the story, Sheriff's Major Andy SHOCK (no kidding again; that's his real name) stated, following a brilliant piece of detective work, Montgomery must have been electrocuted while attempting to adjust or remove the cables.

Submitted on 07/31/2008

Submitted by: Reuben Wesley
Reference: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,395663,00.html

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
A little more information on this, and a stellar write-up. I love the names! Thanks, Reuben!


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Thanks for the humorous writeup, Reuben!


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