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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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The Microtome

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a story my former Zoology Professor used to tell his students back in the days when they were still using the old, mechanical microtomes. Now, they use modern cryotomes, so these things are obsolete, but for teaching purposes, they are sometimes still in use.

Those microtomes are basically a sled on which a heavy, axe-shaped blade is mounted that can be protracted and retracted by a lever, cutting an resin-imbedded specimen into slices thin enough to be used in microscopy. To ensure that the blades stay keen, they are kept in velvet-lined cases. So, when it was time for the students to be taught to operate those things, they were told to take great care, that the blades are super-super keen (and heavy!), and that re-sharpening them requires an expert who would charce 100 Deutsche Mark, which was quite the treasure back in the days.

One of the students happened to remember this latter fact when he -though ordered not to dismount the blade after use himself- for whatever reason dropped one. Unfortunately, he forgot about the former, the super-super keen, and tried to catch it with his bare hands. Luckily for him, the blade got stuck in his metacarpal bones and did not severe the hand or fingers completely, yet still causing a very bloody mess. Had it cut more towards the wrist, it would have very likely caused a life-threatening injury.

Maybe this is just one of the mythic cautionary tales (You'd poke someone's eyes out!), but the Professor in question is a kind of no-nonsense man, so I think it is safe to assume the story happened as told.

((Sorry for the clunky english, I'm a second-language speaker))

Submitted on 07/18/2008

Submitted by: Brigitte
Reference: Personal Account

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
While his grabbing for the blade may have been reflexive he certainly should have known better than to even get to that point by simply listening to the professor. Thanks, Brigitte!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
"Don't do this." The Prof don't know nuthin'- OUCH!!! Yup, that's a great PA! Even if it's a type of UL, I still like it. Thanks, Brigitte! And I think you speak/write very well.

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