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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Incoming

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I’ve held off submitting this near-miss as it can’t be confirmed. The only other witness isn’t about to admit to it. What the heck, here it is.

When I was about 15, a older coworker named Butch Thompson was known to be a wild man. He loved fishing and would spend the entire weekend on the river bank. He’d alternate drinking and fishing He’d sleep when he got tired or passed out, cook his catch on a charcoal grill and taking the occasional potshot with his .22 at gar, turtle or cloud.

He also had a john boat and sometimes spent the night in it on the river,

He’d catch fish, clean, cook and eat them. About the only supplies he would take with him were bait, charcoal and, of course, beer.

One night I joined him on the boat and things started well We caught a small string of catfish and eventually it was time to start the grill, which was a small thing on three legs. One leg kept falling off so threw it in the river and slid his metal tackle box in its place. About the time the coals were ready I heard a small pop. We were using charcoal and I paid it no attention. Neither did Butch.

There were a few more pops and Butch checked it out. As he got closer, his face went white and he retreated to the far end of the boat, which gained him about two feet. After a half dozen more pops, I saw the small holes in the tackle box. Just about the size of the .22 rifle bullet. OH!!!

I was still absorbing the fact his tackle box was SHOOTING AT US when Butch yelled, “SHIT!!” He had a drunken revelation and dove for the tackle box, dumping it over the side. The coals boiled, sending up smoke and steam with more pops coming closer together and then stopping all at once. Butch stared at the floating coals and said, “Damn! We were lucky!!”

“YEAH!”

“It coulda been bad if the shotgun shells started going off.”

SHOTGUN SHELLS!?!?!?

The next week at work, he became either famous or infamous depending on whether you were more concerned with partying or breathing.

I didn’t really care. I didn’t go fishing with him again.

Submitted on 07/13/2008

Submitted by: Kevin Kinney
Reference: Sorry, no references. Summer 1975

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
You're incredibly lucky that you didn't get hurt as a result of Butch's stupidity. Of course if the shotgun shells had gone off this just might have made it into the local news and you'd be in the running for a full blown DA instead of just a PA. Thanks, Kevin!


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Who keeps ammo in a tackle box? One of the first rules my dad taught me was always keep ammo in a _proper_ container. Fish catching suppies don't qualify. SHEESH! I'm glad it didn't make the local news; fodder for more gun control laws that only affect law-abiding citizens. Thanks for this, Kevin!


Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

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