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(DA)Up Up and .... BANG
(?)Jeff Powers Died for Love
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Jeff Powers Died for Love

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Thanks for the submission, I agree with Moderator Candi that it is very well written. But it just isn't unqiue... "
Jeff Powers not only removed himself from the gene pool, he did so while attempting valiantly to pass on his genes to future generations. After he had a fight with his girlfriend Emma Gabriele, 21, a senior at Clark University in Worcester, MA, she kicked him out of her third floor apartment. Now many of us would have slunk off quietly to a friend's sofa and tried to cajole our way back in the next morning. But, fortified by the beers he had consumed that evening and by love, 22-year old Jeff Powers decided that he needed to get back into Emma's good graces (and her apartment) right away. So, Jeff, a standout high school lacrosse player decided to shinny up a wooden post and climb three levels of wooden decking attached to the building.

Just as he had almost reached his lover's apartment he grabbed some spindles to mount the final step.

They gave way and he plunged 30 feet to land head-first on a concrete slab. Poor Emma, had already reconsidered her actions and was heading down the stairs to let Jeff in the door (the way most of us would choose) at the very moment Jeff was climbing up, like Spiderman, but without the superpowers, when she heard a thud. That thud was Jeff, taking himself out of the running to be the father of any future Spiderpeople. He died the next day at UMass Medical Center. Although his germ cells died with him, some of his somatic cells will live on, as Jeff was a first-rate organ donor.

Submitted on 05/09/2008

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Albany, NY Times-Union May 9, 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
I think Emma lucked out! And we really appreciate the original write up, as well. But to me, this isn't quite unusual enough to get a Darwin. Thank you!


Candi said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
I think Emma lucked out! And we really appreciate the original write up, as well. But to me, this isn't quite unusual enough to get a Darwin. Thank you!


Candi said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Trying to climb up three stories is pretty stupid, and doing it drunk is even moreso. Thanks for sending this in.


James said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
This is basically a "Romeo & Juliet on crack" type of story! I agree with Bruce, it's funny enough to perhaps register a blip with the readers!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

 

 

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