Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2008 February Slush
(DA)Chalk one up for the dog.
(DA)Slip Sliding Away
(?)Seatbelt subterfuge kills driver
(?)Mamba kills Man
(HM)Mexican Divorce
(Hmmm)Surfing the wrong wave
(?)Winched up
(DA)A Breathtaking View
Dynamite Defroster
(DA)On the Piste
(?)Die Hard
Brain Evacuation
(?)Darwin in heavy traffic
Man died after driving down boat ra
(HM)Shock Horror
(No)Swimming with the fish (bits)
no diving please
(DA)Hare today, gone tomorrow
(DA)Chemistry Went Over Her Head
(>)Living the High Life (On a Budget)
(DA)Stabbing suspect dies in car crash
Fatal Ski Slope Prank
Top of the train
Killer locomotive
A good thought gone bad
Monk killed by own runaway lawnmowe
Up, Up, and Away!
Bridges are lower than they appear
Inspiration + Youth + Explosives =
Mattress Race
Manhole kills man, Dove in for Cana
Tree felling made easy
(DA)4 Die In Dirtbike Collision
Old shells never die
Roping a Bobcat
feeling tyred - near miss
Wash those genes away
Just Say No
Man has friend shoot him to get off
BASE jumper succumbs to stupidity
A Mattress of Life and Death....
boat welding
Trail Blazing Gaffe
Tram drags man with him
Community service for teen who burn
Death by iPod?
If at first you don't succeed
The $500 Bullet
Please Take This Outside
It only works in the movies
Trailer burns when woman uses gas t
Man dies trying to beat train in Sa
BBQ Whippits
Sledding Accident
Two men burned in backyard blast
Miner nearly crushes himself
A fool and his bike
The Widow Maker
Redneck Bee Exterminator
Too Close For Comfort
arrange your own hit
Grocery Bang!
A tough act to swallow for student
Drain Surfing
Drove 2.5 miles on the wrong way
2 teens hurt by explosion while dri
Departing parted
I'm dying for a drink
Smoking related near miss
Smoky bar triggered fatal asthma at
Man's death linked to cotton swab u
putting your foot in it
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Die Hard

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Thanks for the submission, anonymous paramedic! It was truly stupid. But the sole proximate cause was too much green ale on St. Patrick's Day, so this is a story for the Slush Pile, not the archives."
During St Patricks Day celebrations, and having comsmed a large number of Green tinted ales, our amazingly stupid candidate decided he was invincible, Kind of like bruce willis' character in The die Hard movies, John Mclain. With that in mind he left the pub, climbed to the top of the 6 storey building. there he found the fire Hose. He then had a brain wave. He tied the fire hose around his waist and jumped ofver the edge.

the hose was unfortunatley not attached to anything, and our estwhile candidate plunged, unimpeeded 6 stoerys, when he cratered into the footpath, resulting in his ultimet demise

Submitted on 02/06/2008

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: 1994 - unable to find in media as local media do not report suicides, but was there as the paramedic

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
This COULD use a better write-up, but if you were there as a paramedic, we can keep this as a Personal Account! Imagine that...bungee jumping with a fire hose! Gadzooks, what alcohol does to some people!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks for the story.


Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend