Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2008 January Slush
(UL)Roping A Deer
(Hmmm)Tiger, not lion, kills 1, injurs 2
(DA)Pulled into the abyss
(?)Rich and Overconfident
(Hmm)White Spirit IS Flammable
(?)VA Man Shot to Death While Beating
(DA)Slippery When Wet
(?)Had big balls.
(DA)Chest Piercing Electrocution
(?)Un-happy slapper
(?)Need for Speed
(?)Great Balls of Fire!
(?)Jumbolair Airborne BMW
(DA)Not a Shred of Sense
Conveyor belt outlasts runner
Rafts, Rivers, Cement and Bridges
(HM)Home Made IED
(DA)Sneaking Across
Auger to Heaven
(?)Graffitists drown in storm drain
(NO)Disabled man turned himself into hu
(?)Let Me Get a Better Look!
MANS BEST FRIEND???
(DA)A series of Im-Pined Events
Fire up the BBQ !
Holy Flaming DOH!
gangsta guns & fireworks don't mix
Skier dies after triggering avalanc
The high cost of gas
Police: Man Shot Himself In Genital
Do-I-Yourself Shock Therapry
Picnic Lunch
Drunken driver saves beer
two for one
The Faster Method
Miami of Ohio University...
(several)
Man stabs self while fleeing
Woman attacked twice by shark
Is half a Darwin better then none?
highway worker nearly earns award
Reverse Mohawk
Grafitti Vandals Drown
dangerous mixture
Do Tell
Drowned pair 'spraypainting inside
Next Time Buy a Ticket!
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
1 shoot closes slaying case
When Couch Potatoes Take Root.
Men shoot themselves in tattoo atte
Making Deadly Gas at Home
German man goes out with X-mas Tree
Kinky Sex, Shocking Death
vodka+viagra death
Explosive Military Intelligence
Death by Exploding toilet
Down the drain!
Pneumatic Nail Gun Surprize
Man Killed in Backyard Explosion
Un-happy slapper
Fake hanging becomes all too real
What was he doing up in that crane?
Semi-Conductor
That is one Fowl Shot
diver drowns for golf balls
Metal fence gets revenge
One sleeper too many on rail tracks
Burning Pants
Police Break in?
Go Get the Lawnmower
Who knew trucks were heavy?
dumest showoff driver ever
Killer Drill
Couldn't wait to get down and party
Truck-a-Luck
dangerous dog food
They Ain't no Bo and Luke Duke!
The Blue - Handed Pikeman
Driver found unbuckled in crash, bu
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
He now hates that 'Tom Tom' GPS!!!
A Crocodile Poacher gets scrambled.
Bare hand versus table saw
Drunken Phone Repair
Knife thief stabs self during getaw
Belly dancing through traffic
Super Glue Eye Drops
Man held by ankles to snap photo
Eagle explosion
Cutting up a Napalm Bomb
Escalator Misused
Flash Powder near miss
Log Jamming
Driver requires GPS Train-ing
elevator surfer
Two men dead after swimming in drai
New year buffaloe ride
freek accident
Rest in Peas
Bike VS. Train
Slow Learner
Hangings should never be mocked up
Is Arthur still going to heaven?
Strong finger for firing a pistol
unsuccessful robber shoots self in
The Death of Deadtown
Don't want to fall out of this bed!
Abused car strikes back
Goat Overcomes Man
Dog Love
New years Nose Ring In Brain
Homosexual Couple Hospitalized
Listen to your parents!
Run over getting the bins in
Man breaks neck in pool accident
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Home Made IED

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive. I have really become fond of these 'lived to tell the tale' narratives. Many people have survived a close brush with death, and their stories make vivid cautionary tales for our younger readers."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

I was a 9 year old missionary kid in Indonesia and fascinated with fire works. One of my favorites was the Roman candle, you know, the ones that shoot pretty colored balls into the air from one end of a cardboard tube while you hold the other end. Then I had a "bright" idea. Wouldn't it be cool to see that stuff shooting out the end of a coke bottle? I used my pocket knife to spit some Roman candles in two and poured the contents into a coke bottle. Then, you guessed it, I lit the thing with a match. I still have nightmares to this day of that match at the mouth of the coke bottle, and I'm 41! The explosion was so huge that it burned off my eyebrows, singed my hair in front, and showered me with glass shrapnel. I spent several hours in surgery getting the glass picked out of my body and re-attaching the tendons above my ankle that had been severed completely in two. I couldn't hear anything, but witnesses said it was the loudest explosion they'd ever heard and that I was screeming hysterically and hopping on my one good foot until I collapsed and was carried to the hospital. The top of the coke bottle was found sitting in the street 50 feet away! To this day, an occasional piece of glass surfaces through my skin! Among my missionary kid friends, I'm a legend in stupidity for that brilliant event!

Submitted on 01/30/2008

Submitted by: Chris Harper, MD
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Chris, if this were not a Personal Account then the "victim" would be underage. Did you see the pretty balls flying by anyway? Thanks for the humorous story.


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Phosphorous. Fun stuff. REALLY fun stuff, especially if it burns you! I will confess that I was just as curious (at that age) about what was inside a Roman Candle and might have done the same had I access to one! Anyway, an amusing tale! Thanks, Doc!


The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$12 for Pack of 4

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend