Great Balls of Fire!

Willy is the nicest guy! In all his 80+ years he has led a full and happy life. In general, he has but one bad habit - he smokes and has smoked for most of his adult life. Now a victim of the pulmonary disease, COPD, he has been on oxygen for several years. Unfortunately he smokes with his oxygen system in use and the associated plastic hose and nose piece or canula in place on his nose.

He was well aware of the potential danger of this practice. His wife, Sherri, a health-care professional, has long warned him of the inherent danger, often quite vociferously, but to no avail! In order to please and appease her, Willy did finally cease this practice…while she was present. In her absence, he continued to puff away, enjoying those cigarettes to the fullest.

That is, until a recent incident. Willy decided to enjoy an early morning cigarette. This one could have cost him his life, but he was lucky. As you know oxygen helps combustion along - dramatically. At ease in his favorite chair, Willy attempted to light his early morning cigarette that fateful day. Unfortunately the only thing he succeeded in igniting was himself!

Yes, dear reader, he really lit up his life! The resulting plume of fire, sparked and initially fueled by his lighter, and fed by the cloud of pure oxygen around his nose and mouth, flashed toward the ceiling with a bright cloud of flame and smoke. Unfortunately, Willy had adjusted the oxygen flow to a high rate which served to feed the flames, searing his face, his mustache, his eyebrows and his hair. The plastic concentrator or canula under his nose caught fire, burning and melting to his face. The plastic hose feeding oxygen to the conflagration continued to do so as it also burned. In a reflex action, Willy tried to put out the fire with both hands, which resulted in the burning, melting plastic transferring to his hands and inflicting second and third degree burns on them also.

Luckily Willy was able to extinguish the flames. What was his next thought…call 911, an ambulance or the local first-response EMT unit? No, it was how to hide the accident from Sherri! So it was that when Sherri awoke, sensing the conflagration, and rushed in, she saw Willy sitting there in his easy chair with the light out. On close inspection in the early morning light, Sherri discovered he was smiling painfully through a coat of burn ointment he had found and hastily applied. Of course there were telltale clues, like the cloud of smoke in the room, Willy’s charred face, and the smell of burning hair, flesh and plastic.

Recognizing his condition, Sherri immediately rushed Willy to the local emergency room.

Sadly, and unconscionably, they had to wait for three hours for a doctor. The emergency room attendants claimed there were others with worse problems. But the first physician to see Willy threw up her hands in disbelief and dismay and said he should be taken to the specialized burn unit in our state capital immediately. So Sherri bundled Willy into their van and rushed the eighty miles there. At the burn unit, they confirmed that indeed those were second and third degree burns, cleaned and bandaged Willy and sent him home.

Willy is healing well. Sherri, ever the professional care giver, changes his bandages and continues to pick bits and pieces of burned plastic out of Willy. Through it all Willy retained his sense of humor, as did Sherri. She didn’t seek to deprive Willy of the pleasure of smoking. No, now she controls and doles out the cigarettes from her lockbox, and watches him smoke and then extinguish each in a cup of water. All this with his oxygen apparatus turned off and well away from his easy chair.

Willy, ever thankful, says he did learn a valuable lesson the hard way, and suggests others who are tempted to smoke with their oxygen on might profit by his experience. That is why he and Sherri are sharing this story with you dear reader…

Submitted on 01/25/2008

Submitted by: Roger Kirkwood
Reference: personal account - January 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Trying to hide something like this from your spouse is the height of stupidity (not to mention smoking while on oxygen!) Thanks for the story, Roger!

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Given the several incidents where smokers on pure oxygen HAVE immolated themselves, this gent was as lucky as he was stupid! Good PA!

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