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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

A Crocodile Poacher gets scrambled.

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Note: I will first admit this one is NOT a Darwin nominee, but it could be considered a NEAR MISS. as the hapless human did survive with Non-life threatening injuries.

But what he got for poaching of crocodile eggs was a 2 for 1 shot at getting a potential Darwin. One for the crocodile that almost got him for lunch, and the second by a not to accurate co-worker with a rifle.

But let's start at the beginning, shall we?

On Tuesday, January 22nd 2008, A crocodile farm hand who goes by the name of Jason Green (Age Indeterminate), was out hunting with another male co-worker along a riverbank somewhere in the Northern Territory of Austrailia well outside of Darwin and Cannaberra.

and what were these two hunting for?

Crocodile eggs.

Why?

The two men had been collecting all those eggs to boost the crocodile population at their farm in the northern city of (You guessed it!) Darwin.

Well luckily for these two, they found a nice clutch of crocodile eggs right where they figured, and were about to take them from the nest..

that's when.. "she" walked into their lives.

and by "she", I'm referring to a female crocodile, who had just gotten back from a relaxing swim in the river so that she could tend her upcoming family..

Well you know how mother crocodiles are about someone poaching their eggs.

The don't like noone stealing their eggs.

So what did mother crocodile do? She decided to take her anger out on the nearest of the two poachers and decided to clamp down on the hapless Mr. Green's right arm. (LUNCH!)

while Poor Mr. Green was there screaming and struggling for bloody help to get this rather large female crocodile off his right arm, his not so bright co-worker decided to break out his trusty rifle and decide to shoot mother crock to force her to let Mr. Green go.

After all, this was a case of 'get shot or eaten'.

After one shot to the mouth and face, our female crocodile did just that. she let go of Mr. Green's right arm.

But rather than ceasing fire our unnamed co-worker decided to fire off one more round and in the process of doing so, gave Mr. Green a bullet to the already mangled arm.

Talk about 'adding insult to injury'.

But luckily for Mr. Green, He was quickly rushed to a helicopter, where he was rushed to a local Dawrin, Austraila, hospital for surgery.

Police Commander Bob Harrison said Green's injuries were not life-threatening.

"He's going to be very sick and sorry and have a very good story to tell," Harrison told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.

But while Mr. Green got off with a rather mangled arm, our hapless femal e crocodile didn't fare much better.

Police could provide no information about the crocodile's condition.

So there you go..

If you're going to poach eggs from a crocodile, be absolutely sure she won't be around, else your poaching could get you ended up scrambled, Just like Mr. Green.

Submitted on 01/25/2008

Submitted by: Paul Bender
Reference: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22811104/ 6:31 p.m. MT, Wed., Jan. 23, 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
Thanks, Paul, we've already received this story a few times.


James said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
I DO like this write-up a lot better than any of the others...I will vote to let Darwin decide!


Jorge said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat


Shadow said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
I agree that this is the best write up of this story and send it to Darwin for her to see


The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

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