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2008 January Slush
(UL)Roping A Deer
(Hmmm)Tiger, not lion, kills 1, injurs 2
(DA)Pulled into the abyss
(?)Rich and Overconfident
(Hmm)White Spirit IS Flammable
(?)VA Man Shot to Death While Beating
(DA)Slippery When Wet
(?)Had big balls.
(DA)Chest Piercing Electrocution
(?)Un-happy slapper
(?)Need for Speed
(?)Great Balls of Fire!
(?)Jumbolair Airborne BMW
(DA)Not a Shred of Sense
Conveyor belt outlasts runner
Rafts, Rivers, Cement and Bridges
(HM)Home Made IED
(DA)Sneaking Across
Auger to Heaven
(?)Graffitists drown in storm drain
(NO)Disabled man turned himself into hu
(?)Let Me Get a Better Look!
MANS BEST FRIEND???
(DA)A series of Im-Pined Events
Fire up the BBQ !
Holy Flaming DOH!
gangsta guns & fireworks don't mix
Skier dies after triggering avalanc
The high cost of gas
Police: Man Shot Himself In Genital
Do-I-Yourself Shock Therapry
Picnic Lunch
Drunken driver saves beer
two for one
The Faster Method
Miami of Ohio University...
(several)
Man stabs self while fleeing
Woman attacked twice by shark
Is half a Darwin better then none?
highway worker nearly earns award
Reverse Mohawk
Grafitti Vandals Drown
dangerous mixture
Do Tell
Drowned pair 'spraypainting inside
Next Time Buy a Ticket!
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
1 shoot closes slaying case
When Couch Potatoes Take Root.
Men shoot themselves in tattoo atte
Making Deadly Gas at Home
German man goes out with X-mas Tree
Kinky Sex, Shocking Death
vodka+viagra death
Explosive Military Intelligence
Death by Exploding toilet
Down the drain!
Pneumatic Nail Gun Surprize
Man Killed in Backyard Explosion
Un-happy slapper
Fake hanging becomes all too real
What was he doing up in that crane?
Semi-Conductor
That is one Fowl Shot
diver drowns for golf balls
Metal fence gets revenge
One sleeper too many on rail tracks
Burning Pants
Police Break in?
Go Get the Lawnmower
Who knew trucks were heavy?
dumest showoff driver ever
Killer Drill
Couldn't wait to get down and party
Truck-a-Luck
dangerous dog food
They Ain't no Bo and Luke Duke!
The Blue - Handed Pikeman
Driver found unbuckled in crash, bu
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
He now hates that 'Tom Tom' GPS!!!
A Crocodile Poacher gets scrambled.
Bare hand versus table saw
Drunken Phone Repair
Knife thief stabs self during getaw
Belly dancing through traffic
Super Glue Eye Drops
Man held by ankles to snap photo
Eagle explosion
Cutting up a Napalm Bomb
Escalator Misused
Flash Powder near miss
Log Jamming
Driver requires GPS Train-ing
elevator surfer
Two men dead after swimming in drai
New year buffaloe ride
freek accident
Rest in Peas
Bike VS. Train
Slow Learner
Hangings should never be mocked up
Is Arthur still going to heaven?
Strong finger for firing a pistol
unsuccessful robber shoots self in
The Death of Deadtown
Don't want to fall out of this bed!
Abused car strikes back
Goat Overcomes Man
Dog Love
New years Nose Ring In Brain
Homosexual Couple Hospitalized
Listen to your parents!
Run over getting the bins in
Man breaks neck in pool accident
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Metal fence gets revenge

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My cousin likes a drink and went out one evening with some mates to get utterly wasted, after several hours of heavy drinking he decided to return home via the shortest available route, that is to say across the gardens of the pubs neighbours. All went well until he got several gardens into his trip, when a large and hairy bear of a man charged from his back door wearing some dirty underpants and carrying a kitchen knife. My cousin ran down the garden and jumped to swing one leg over the fence when he realised that it had metal spikes about 8 inches long across the top. he had one leg over the fence when his mate who had accompanied him also hit the fence, caught his shoe laces and began swinging freely, my cousin lost his balance and slipped elegantly onto the fence. He was so drunk that he pulled himself off the spike, returned to his flat and promptly nodded off. When he awoke the next morning he went to the toilet to relieve himself of the evenings alchohol, at this point he noticed blood so he removed his njeans and found the inside bit of the bollock hanging out through a split in the sack, not to mention a hole through his shoe and foot from another spike. At this point he phoned his mum and asked for a lift to the hospital, his mum however had become immune to these calls as he works in a metal work factory and has a habit of calling his mum and telling her he is in hospital when he isnt, he thinks its funny when she rushes there to be told they have no record of him. However when he passed out and hit the floor while on the phone to her she rushed to his flat and had to force the door open. What a div.

Submitted on 01/20/2008

Submitted by: Roland Butter
Reference: winter 2003

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks for a great story, Roland. This guy is lucky he hadn't punctured his femoral artery (inner thigh) and bled to death up on that fence.


Shadow said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree and hope we dont see this guy soon as a darwin


Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

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