Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2008 January Slush
(UL)Roping A Deer
(Hmmm)Tiger, not lion, kills 1, injurs 2
(DA)Pulled into the abyss
(?)Rich and Overconfident
(Hmm)White Spirit IS Flammable
(?)VA Man Shot to Death While Beating
(DA)Slippery When Wet
(?)Had big balls.
(DA)Chest Piercing Electrocution
(?)Un-happy slapper
(?)Need for Speed
(?)Great Balls of Fire!
(?)Jumbolair Airborne BMW
(DA)Not a Shred of Sense
Conveyor belt outlasts runner
Rafts, Rivers, Cement and Bridges
(HM)Home Made IED
(DA)Sneaking Across
Auger to Heaven
(?)Graffitists drown in storm drain
(NO)Disabled man turned himself into hu
(?)Let Me Get a Better Look!
MANS BEST FRIEND???
(DA)A series of Im-Pined Events
Fire up the BBQ !
Holy Flaming DOH!
gangsta guns & fireworks don't mix
Skier dies after triggering avalanc
The high cost of gas
Police: Man Shot Himself In Genital
Do-I-Yourself Shock Therapry
Picnic Lunch
Drunken driver saves beer
two for one
The Faster Method
Miami of Ohio University...
(several)
Man stabs self while fleeing
Woman attacked twice by shark
Is half a Darwin better then none?
highway worker nearly earns award
Reverse Mohawk
Grafitti Vandals Drown
dangerous mixture
Do Tell
Drowned pair 'spraypainting inside
Next Time Buy a Ticket!
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
1 shoot closes slaying case
When Couch Potatoes Take Root.
Men shoot themselves in tattoo atte
Making Deadly Gas at Home
German man goes out with X-mas Tree
Kinky Sex, Shocking Death
vodka+viagra death
Explosive Military Intelligence
Death by Exploding toilet
Down the drain!
Pneumatic Nail Gun Surprize
Man Killed in Backyard Explosion
Un-happy slapper
Fake hanging becomes all too real
What was he doing up in that crane?
Semi-Conductor
That is one Fowl Shot
diver drowns for golf balls
Metal fence gets revenge
One sleeper too many on rail tracks
Burning Pants
Police Break in?
Go Get the Lawnmower
Who knew trucks were heavy?
dumest showoff driver ever
Killer Drill
Couldn't wait to get down and party
Truck-a-Luck
dangerous dog food
They Ain't no Bo and Luke Duke!
The Blue - Handed Pikeman
Driver found unbuckled in crash, bu
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
He now hates that 'Tom Tom' GPS!!!
A Crocodile Poacher gets scrambled.
Bare hand versus table saw
Drunken Phone Repair
Knife thief stabs self during getaw
Belly dancing through traffic
Super Glue Eye Drops
Man held by ankles to snap photo
Eagle explosion
Cutting up a Napalm Bomb
Escalator Misused
Flash Powder near miss
Log Jamming
Driver requires GPS Train-ing
elevator surfer
Two men dead after swimming in drai
New year buffaloe ride
freek accident
Rest in Peas
Is Arthur still going to heaven?
Bike VS. Train
Slow Learner
Hangings should never be mocked up
Strong finger for firing a pistol
unsuccessful robber shoots self in
The Death of Deadtown
Don't want to fall out of this bed!
Abused car strikes back
Goat Overcomes Man
Dog Love
New years Nose Ring In Brain
Homosexual Couple Hospitalized
Listen to your parents!
Run over getting the bins in
Man breaks neck in pool accident
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Holy Flaming DOH!

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Now I know that you have tons of people setting themselves on fire every year , but this guy couldn't tell a bottle of beer from a bottle of gasoline?

That's right.

Here's the recipie for this disaster, and believe me, this one definitely is off the weirdometer!

First take a 56 year old man who is both a smoker and a drinker..

Then add in two unlabeled bottles, one filled with Nice German beer, the other filled with say Unleaded gasoline and put all of them into a poorly lit room.

Then have the Gentleman take a cigarette and light it and set it on an near by ashtray, before he reaches for what he thinks is that German brew,

when in reality...

it's the petrol.

Let him take a swig and then realize.. he's got a mouth full of gas, burning his mouth.

Ouch!

So what to do?

Spit it out! That's what he should do!

And not in any random direction mind you, but rather onto that lit cigarette sitting in the ashtray, which then ignites the spat out petrol, and sets not only the entire apartment ablase but our hapless wanna-be and Potential Darwin Nominee!

This one is so odd it sounds like something Homer Simpson would do.. After that one, I bet this guy will wake up in Heaven or Hell, (If he doesn't survive the burns, and say:

"HOLY FLAMING DOH!"

So let's go over the rules for this one.

Reproduction: Check, with severe burns over his body would this guy survive and if he has reproduced already perhaps his offspring will not pull the same idea.

Self Selection: Yep and no bystanders in this one save for the his own place, he did this all by himself..

Excellence: Okay now who in their right mind would put two bottles next to each other and neither of them are labeled.. one is potable alcohol, the other imflammable petrol.

Age: Big check on this one. at 56, he has been there done that.

Veracity: MSNBC and Associated Press out of Germany in fact the AP Story is here: http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5htH-E00qkoa4USadrJ_YMpvBC_5wD8U5SU182

Submitted on 01/15/2008

Submitted by: Paul Bender
Reference: 3:26 p.m. MT, Mon., Jan. 14, 2008 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22652016/

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Paul, we already have this one but you have provided a much better write up so I am for commending this one to Darwin herself for a look-see.


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Yes, this is a much better writeup than the original submission. Thanks, Paul!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

$16 Tree of Life T-Shirt / Grey
Heavy 100% cotton Hanes Beefy-T with an inadvisable tree-sawing situation on the front... and a few scattered leaves on the back! Click on the image for a full view. This one is not based on any story, but shows an amusingly apt situation.
Buy the Tree of Life T-Shirt

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend