Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2008 January Slush
(UL)Roping A Deer
(Hmmm)Tiger, not lion, kills 1, injurs 2
(DA)Slippery When Wet
(DA)Pulled into the abyss
(?)Rich and Overconfident
(Hmm)White Spirit IS Flammable
(?)VA Man Shot to Death While Beating
(?)Had big balls.
(DA)Not a Shred of Sense
(DA)Chest Piercing Electrocution
(?)Un-happy slapper
(?)Need for Speed
(?)Great Balls of Fire!
(?)Jumbolair Airborne BMW
(DA)A series of Im-Pined Events
Conveyor belt outlasts runner
Rafts, Rivers, Cement and Bridges
(HM)Home Made IED
(DA)Sneaking Across
Auger to Heaven
(?)Graffitists drown in storm drain
(NO)Disabled man turned himself into hu
(?)Let Me Get a Better Look!
MANS BEST FRIEND???
Fire up the BBQ !
Holy Flaming DOH!
gangsta guns & fireworks don't mix
The high cost of gas
Police: Man Shot Himself In Genital
Do-I-Yourself Shock Therapry
Picnic Lunch
Drunken driver saves beer
Skier dies after triggering avalanc
two for one
The Faster Method
Miami of Ohio University...
(several)
Man stabs self while fleeing
Woman attacked twice by shark
Is half a Darwin better then none?
highway worker nearly earns award
Reverse Mohawk
Grafitti Vandals Drown
dangerous mixture
Do Tell
Drowned pair 'spraypainting inside
Next Time Buy a Ticket!
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
1 shoot closes slaying case
When Couch Potatoes Take Root.
Men shoot themselves in tattoo atte
Making Deadly Gas at Home
German man goes out with X-mas Tree
Kinky Sex, Shocking Death
vodka+viagra death
Explosive Military Intelligence
Death by Exploding toilet
Down the drain!
Pneumatic Nail Gun Surprize
Man Killed in Backyard Explosion
Un-happy slapper
Fake hanging becomes all too real
What was he doing up in that crane?
Semi-Conductor
That is one Fowl Shot
diver drowns for golf balls
Metal fence gets revenge
One sleeper too many on rail tracks
Burning Pants
Police Break in?
Go Get the Lawnmower
Who knew trucks were heavy?
dumest showoff driver ever
Killer Drill
Couldn't wait to get down and party
Truck-a-Luck
dangerous dog food
They Ain't no Bo and Luke Duke!
The Blue - Handed Pikeman
Driver found unbuckled in crash, bu
Man Shot Himself In Genitals During
He now hates that 'Tom Tom' GPS!!!
A Crocodile Poacher gets scrambled.
Bare hand versus table saw
Drunken Phone Repair
Knife thief stabs self during getaw
Belly dancing through traffic
Super Glue Eye Drops
Man held by ankles to snap photo
Eagle explosion
Cutting up a Napalm Bomb
Escalator Misused
Flash Powder near miss
Log Jamming
Driver requires GPS Train-ing
elevator surfer
Two men dead after swimming in drai
New year buffaloe ride
freek accident
Rest in Peas
Bike VS. Train
Slow Learner
Hangings should never be mocked up
Is Arthur still going to heaven?
Strong finger for firing a pistol
unsuccessful robber shoots self in
The Death of Deadtown
Don't want to fall out of this bed!
Abused car strikes back
Goat Overcomes Man
Dog Love
New years Nose Ring In Brain
Homosexual Couple Hospitalized
Listen to your parents!
Run over getting the bins in
Man breaks neck in pool accident
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Had big balls.

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Ouch!"
I have a friend, no... aquaintance who was in a waterskiing accident, in this accident he severely damaged one of his testicles to the point where it was permanently swollen to an unusually large size.

Having this large testicle was something he considered bragworthy. At parties (once he had a few under his belt) he would pull his gargantuan teste out and show it to people. On one occasion a female at the party commented that it was a pity his other one was so small, and suggested that he might be able to remedy this problem. He immediately grabbed a beer bottle and proceeded to smash his testicle repeatedly... everyone left the room.

The next morning he awoke to a massive pain in his nether regions which (on inspection) turned out to be his bleeding and grotesquely swollen nut. He called an ambulance, was taken to hospital and was surgically removed from the gene pool.

Submitted on 01/13/2008

Submitted by: Adrian Firmin
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
All I can say is that I'm glad I wasn't at that party. Thanks, Adrian!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Normally I would respond "yeah, right!" to such a story but here at the Darwin Awards we have heard stranger ones. Thanks for the story, Adrian


The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend